Son's behavior

Our 5 1/2 year old son is very indecisive.  He has trouble making his mind up regarding just about anything and everything.  He often comments that there is just to much to chose from (even if we only give me one or two options).  He is also difficult to reason with.  Many times it gets so unbearable everyone ends up yelling.  He often says things like "I want to eat pizza but you won't let me" even if that is what we gave me.  It is almost like he is confused at times.  He has many friends at daycare and seems to be socially fine.  However, his preschool teacher has mentioned instances where he will willing defy her.  Examples:  She will ask him to sit a particular chair to prepare for a certain classroom activity.  He'll sit there but will them stand up.  When she asks him what is the matter, he will point to another chair he prefers to sit in.  Learning wise she feels he is where he should be for his age.  However, the indecisiveness and unreasonablity is becoming a problem.  He isn't a "bad" student but there are times where he resists authority.  It is almost like he is 10 trapped in a 5 year old body or something.  Sometimes it seems like his brain thinks faster than he can keep up with.  Also, there are times when he'll read numbers and/or letter backwords.  I'm told that he is too young to be tested for dyslexia.  However, sometimes I wonder if this is what is causing the problem.  Maybe he is getting frustrated.

Any advise or help that you can offer would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Lisa,

It's not unusual at all for a child so young to reverse letters. You needn't worry about that right now. Nor should you worry about your son's difficulty making decisions. You're doing the wise thing by offering a limited range from which to choose.

It sounds like the main problem is your son's degree of oppositional behavior. Both at home and at school, it will be important for him to learn to coply with parental and teacher directions. Generally speaking, if your son does not comply with a direction the first time it is issued, it is reasonable to present the direction one more time, but in the form of an ultimatum (delivered in a firm, convincing and not harsh or loud manner) - e.g., Unless you ........., you will go to time out. Such a routine helps the child to take you seriously and avoids the anger and frustration that mounts in adults when directions are repeated over and over.