Step-parenting

I recently married a wonderful man who has an 11 year old daughter. We hit it off and enjoy being around each other. She is a very smart girl. The problem is, she has to be told to do everything! (take a bath, brush her teeth, get ready for bed, get dressed for church,etc.) She throws her trash on on the floor, leaves toys, dishes etc. laying all over the house. I have talked with her about picking up after herself several times. She know what she is supposed to do, but it seems to me like she refuses to do it. She has terrible table manners as well. She'll take food off other people's plate without asking, takes their drinks, etc. Her father does not support me in my efforts to take responsibility for herself which does not help the situation. He thinks she shouldn't be made to do anything while she is at our house. She lives with her mother and we have her on weekends. I do realize this is how she has been raised, but it is driving me nuts. I don't know how to handle this situation.

[RockRose]

Hmmmm.  Sounds like what we have here,  is an 11 year old girl.

Wait it out,  and be kind and loving to her.  She'll grow into an adult in about 7 years.

[ronnette01]

My children are grown, and frankly I don't know what to expect from an 11year old! So this is pretty much normal? I feel like I am failing to teach her any kind of responsibility if I do nothing.

[RockRose]

I've raised three kids past 11,  and  had to do all the reminding you're talking about.

Here's a special gift to you.  It's funny.  Please watch all the way to the end - you'll see the rousing standing ovation.  This is every mom's experience,  I don't know how you got lucky enough not to experience it with your own kids.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzZJO3ZRNCo