Strange Behavior?

I am concerned about one of the children I have been caring for for quite some time. He is 5 years old and I have noticed some strange behavior. First of all, he is constantly physically attacking the other 4 girls in my home. One is his younger sister who is polite and respectful and plays well with others. The other 3 are my own children between the ages of 18 months and 5 years. I am not talking about the occasional pushing and shoving you might expect. He absolutely will get up from whatever he is doing and walk up to one of the other kids and kick or punch them. He has even pushed my infant off of the sofa. His reason for this was " she did not have a free life." I am constantly putting him in time out but the second I turn my back he finds something to throw at the other children or he pulls things off the walls or shelves. If I put him in an empty space he screams and beats his head into a wall. On 4 occasions he has urinated in front of the other kids. He even did it once in the back of my van while I was pulled up outside the school.
I am in charge of picking him up from school and everyday his teacher sends me home with a note or comments on his terrible behavior. He has made comments that were alarming. For instance he was on the computer playing around with paint the screen was pink and he was mechanicaly painting over it with a red color. he had a most unusual look on his face and when i asked him what he was doing he replied." The pink represents all the evil girls in the world and the red is me coming to detroy them." At first i though it was a little funny,he is a boy after all. Yet time and time again he has refered to girls as being evil, even blaming their evilness on his bad behavior.  He called my daughter a ***** and yelled more obscene words on occasion. I am fed up and do not know what to do or what is wrong with him. His mother and step father are the greatest people but the mother was diagnosed with Post Tramatic Stress Disorder after a death of a previous child and remained under therapy during her pregnancy with this child. She is not in any way abusive or neglectful of her children and does not use foul langage that I am aware of in front of her. I have known her a long time. She is informed that he is having problems at school with his behavior but I am not sure she understands the full extent of it. I am scared for my children at times and just want to know if this could be a phase or something more like ADHD or worse. I want to figure out a way to better handle the stuation.I do not want to continue to watch him if I cannot figure out a way to deal with his behavior. On the other hand I do not want to put my friend in a bad situation. She is on bedrest for the remainder of her pregnancy. Yes I have kept him prior to the Bedrest and it has always been the same!! Please Help!!!

[LRM1021]

This child's behavior is extreme and he is violent.  It sounds like he has a lot of pent up anger and anxiety -- he needs help.  His behavior could be symtomatic of so many different disorders, frankly - all disorders that require psychiatric treatment.

You would be doing this child, and your friend, a great kidness to tell her that:
-- you love her and him, and you are telling her this only out of love, and
-- that his behavior is extreme-- its not slightly bad, its not a "boy thing" and its not a normal phase, and
-- that he is crying out for help, and she needs to get him evaluated by a qualified medical professional to get a plan going to help him.


As for you handling the situation directly with him, if you have consistent rules at your daycare that you follow with all the children, then you are doing all you can. And you have to protect the other children there-- if you really think he could hurt them or himself, well-- I am sure you would be just devastated if something really bad happened. So the best thing to do is to present your friend with your observations, so that she can get her son the help that he needs.

Good luck.