Stubborn or ...

[dmancin]

I have a 3 year old son who doesn't do what other children his age do. He does not speak to us unless he wants something but it's usually 2 words like "juice please". He does not answer yes or no questions and sometimes when he does talk to us, it's mostly almost all the time in the form of a question. But it's not him asking for something it's him basically repeating what we usually ask him. When he was 1 he used to say what a typical 1 year old would say like "kitty, mommy, daddy, grandma, grandpa, thank you" and then he just stopped. He constantly climbs on the counters and has to turn all the lights on in the house. He's very hyper. Runs around like crazy doing laps around the house He throws tantrums which I know is normal but almost most of the time. I know some of these things sound normal for a 3 year old but you have to see it from my point of view and see that he takes it to a whole other level. I'm almost certain he's just being stubborn, but others think he's autistic. We have taken him to a specialist and he didn't diagnose him as autistic but told us he has a "gut feeling" he may be mildly autistic. We are waiting to get his chromosomes checked and are waiting to hear from a school for speech lessons on when he may or may not start.  I feel helpless. I'm sick of waiting and still not getting an definite answers. I have a 1 year old son as well and he's doing just about everything my 3 year old does.The only way it seems to get my son to do anything is to tell him something he wants to hear. So I'm thinking it's just stubborness. He sings songs though and knows all his numbers, letters, colors, and about all his shapes. He counts to ten, sometimes 20 and says his abc's.He's very particular about things. Almost like he has to always be in control.  He doesn't like to try new things and now we are having trouble feeding him. Please any advice or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

[Hanesh]

Hello,
I have my 3 year old son with reply's me back with the question we ask but not everytime if I say What is your name he says same thing to me...but If I say what does dog say he answers Bow wow... but most of the time he repeats the questions or repeat same thing ... if he get hurt he says momma bubooo if I ask how u got buboo he keep on repeats buboo...
since he was premature baby I had to take him for developmental analysis and that's how I contacted "Early Intervention" and from there I was asked to go to school and take his evaluation if he qualify for IEP which is federal law that kids who falls in Autism spectrum will have a 3-4 sessions everyday and they will be teached how to cope with others and these disorders.
my best suggestion for u is make a developmental appointment for ur baby and get him checked before it is much delay for u in finding his issues later.

[specialmom]

It sounds like you have your hands full!  These energetic little guys keep us on our toes.  You mentioned normal development for speech until he was 1 or so and then it stopped---  this happens with autism, often though with the less able to function autistic children.  Your son, as he can communicate with you and gets his needs met as well being bright doesn't sound like this.  How is his interaction with others?  Eye contact?  Perhaps there is another neurological issue going on.  There are such things as sensory integration disorder which can involve speech and motor planning.  The motor planning piece of sensory integration disorder would account for the problems dressing and not wanting to try new things.  It can account for issues with speech as well.  Many kids with sensory have issues with textures that come with food and will spit out things readily on the first bite due to this.  Also motor planning can make things hard to chew.  Running around a lot, climbing, jumping off furniture and spinning are all sensory seeking activities too.  Just a thought.  I have a son with sensory and it was hard to tell for sure he had the disorder at first.  It became clear as he got older and the demands on him were more.  I often said that he's immature or just a tough kid.  Truth is, I now know he was doing the best he could.  We do occupational therapy now and things have drastically improved.  Your son may not have sensory or attention deficit or some other type of delay, but it is worth an evaluation.  If he attends preschool, they and you could request this.  Or you could contact your local school district.  I understand your comment that all kids do this but your son takes it to a new level.  This is my life!  Just know that if something is wrong----  early intervention can do wonders!!  And if something is not----  then you'll have this information to help you decide best as to how to deal with him.  One other thought, how old was he when your second child was born?  Did this coincide with his step back in speech?  Good luck.  

[RockRose]

dmancin,  I agree with jdtm.  I think parents (actually,  usually its the dads who do this) waste a lot of time and energy thinking their children are just stubborn or lazy.  Instead,  "what can we do to make him more successful" is a better mindset that gets a lot more done!

Have you made an appointment with an occupational therapist?  I don't know where you live but you can look them up in the yellow pages or ask your pediatrician or local school district for a list.  You can get started on therapies that can be done at the center,  and continued at home.

Best wishes.  Your son sounds like he has a lot of positives.

[jdtm]

I think your doctor is probably correct -  wishing it were not so doesn't make it true.  I feel for you - you have a long road ahead of you.  I do know that the sooner one intervenes on behalf of an autistic child, the better the outcome.  Please seek treatment as soon as possible.  I wish you the best ....