Sudden behavior changes in 3 year old

My niece will be 3 in a few weeks. Her parents are separated and she spends every other weekend with her father (my brother). My brother has a drinking problem but swears he doesnt drink with her even though we suspect he does. I usually have her over night one night a month and she spends one night a month with Grandma and Papa. Other than this her routine is pretty stable.

Two weeks ago she told her Uncle and I that "Daddy spanks her in the face". Sometimes she just talks and makes up stories but when we asked her about it her story remained consistent over several days. I brought it up with both parents and we all agreed that we did not think this was the problem and we would all be watchful. However, since then she has repeatedly told people about Daddy hitting her in the face and has began to display behavior such as hitting her dolls in the face because they are bad and in trouble. She has done this with pets as well. She's even asked her father unprompted in front of us why he hits her in the face. He became upset and accused her mother of trying to turn her against him.

Yesterday she was kicked out of daycare. She has become so violent with other children (hitting, biting, scratching, etc) they can't keep her there. She's begun playing with her feces and has total meltdowns when she gets in trouble there. Is it possible she is being abused or could there be another cause for this behavior?  

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

This behavior is typical of children who are being mistreated. Don't be naive about her father's problem with alcohol. You are likely exposing her to a precarious situation and it is important to look at this with wide open eyes.

[nanny74]

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