Teenage boys

My husband and I are in a disagreement on how to handle our 13 year old son.  He seems very normal to me as far as developing goes but he is not a "tough" kid.  I know he needs to toughen up as the world can be an ugly place to those that are bullied or taken advantage of but can you force a child to become tougher?  I say he will mature in his own time but my husband feels we must force him to grow up.  I am growing resentful towards my husband because he assumes his way is the only way.........but I don't agree.  Unfortunately our son is often caught in the middle.  
Help?
By the way:  Our son is a great student, well-liked by peers and teachers, and is pretty athletic.  He is just not assertive or "tough" (as my husband would say.)

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

The concern about the approach your husband is favoring is that it will convey, however unwittingly, to your son that he is unacceptable to his father, deficient or inadequate. That is not a good result. It sounds like your son is a very good, decent person who perhaps can learn some skilld about assertiveness. But tread very carefully with the possibility that you might be communicating to him that he is inadequate and not 'acceptable' as he is.