Temper

My daughter is an only child, four years old and currently attending kindergarten. Everyday is a power struggle and some days are much better than others.

Somedays, I have to ask atleast half a dozen times and constantly redirect attention to have her, for example, put her socks on or to stop making a disruptive sound. She doesn't listen or seem to take what I say seriously.

A simple thing like crossing the road can be a major problem when she decides she would rather cross at a different place or not at all. If I insist, she'll yell and scream, and refuse to move.

Telling her it's time to come home from the playground induces the same kind of reaction. She'll pull at my jacket, hit me and yell at the top of her lungs. This can go on and on.

It's incredibly frustrating. I've tried to stay firm and ignore the temper tantrums when they happen, but it doesn't seem to be helping. When she won't listen, I've tried giving rewards, time outs, and taking a favorite thing away. I've tried negotiating. Nothing is working.

I would appreciate any comments or suggestions. Thank you for your time, in advance.

Susanna

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Susanna,

One thing to be careful about is falling into the trap of saying things to your daughter over and over - you don't need to do this, and it only teaches her not to take you seriously.

Tell her one time, and if she does not comply, tell her only one more time, but in the form of an ultimatum - i.e., unless you...., you will go to time out. Then, if she does not comply, place her in time out. Even this simple intervention, correctly and religiosly employed, will make a difference with a child who tends to be oppositional or non-compliant. The key is to employ the technique within a systematic plan for managing behavior.

You might take a look at two very useful books about managing children's behavior: S.O.S.:Help for Parents, and 1,2,3 Magic. Both of these books are useful because they are practical and down-to-earth, and they outline approaches that can be used by any parent of pre-school and school-age children. Dr. KDK

[Nicky Holmes]

My four year old son has problems with his temper and he gets very frustrated when people try and get him to do things he doesn't particularly want to.   It has been suggested to me that he may be suffering from a food allergy eg wheat or milk

Maybe your daughter has a food allergy?

Best of luck



Nicky
From England.