The 7 year old girl in my life is struggling with separation anxiety...I think.

[Nancy79]

I have been helping a friend of mine raise her daughter for the past 7 years. I definitely consider myself as her second 'parent'. The third parent in this situation is my mother, who takes care of her after school and sometimes on the weekends.

Recently, my little one has been extremely worried about being left forever by my mother or her mother. There are times that she tells me that she thinks that her mom is just going to leave her some day and never come back. We tried to think back to when she started talking about her worries. We realized that there were a few things that occured in her life at about the same time that may have triggered something in her. First, she and my mother went to walk the dog one day, and they walked around a couple of buildings, they somehow got separated and when she couldn't find my mother right away, she freaked out. They were not separated for more than a minute, but it really impacted her. Next we went and saw the movie "Nim's Island'. This movie is about a little girl who is living on a remote island with only her father, he leaves her on the island by herself for 2 days to do some research. He gets caught in a storm and doesn't return home like he was supposed to. Much of the length of the movie he is lost at sea and at one point it looks like he didn't make it. In the end he does come back, but it seems that the important part for my little one was when he left and didn't come back.

The truth is there are some real reasons why she doesn't trust her mother to be dependable all the time, but nothing to suggest that she would just up and leave her.

I know that this little girl has struggled over the years with some other trust issues, but this is becoming pretty invasive in our lives. She doesn't ever want to be left alone. She starts getting herself all worked up for no apparent reason and we struggle with calming her down. My mother is out of town for a couple of weeks right now, and my little one called me up tonight and said that she just keeps imagining that my mother takes the dog for a walk and never comes back.

I was wondering what you thought?? Does this sound like separation anxiety? Can her behavior be a realistic response to her situation and not irrational fears? I would appreciate any help. Thanks.


This discussion is related to Anxiety.

[jdtm]

What you are describing certainly sounds as if anxiety might be the issue.  I might suggest you google the term "childhood anxiety" or something similar for information re this topic.  If the information in these downloads or "book" suggestions is insufficient, then it might be wise to seek counsel from the family doctor.  Do keep in mind that a child might suffer from anxiety and not suffer from an anxiety disorder.  Hope this helps ..