This is to Cleveland MOM

hi,  Everyone is telling me to quit my job and I can't cause we can't live off of one check.Im writing this to you cause you sound like a understanding person....I have so much stress.I think this is a big change for kenny cause he;s going to a knew school, everything will be new for him........I think once he adjust there he is going to be fine.........Im so sad cause I don't like seeing my kids upset.........he is such a good kid........Now on when I have to post something Im just going to post to you.I was reading my post and everyone was telling me to quit my job and no one knows me if my husband just worked we really couldn't live by one check..........Everyong has opnions.Thank you for listening  to me.........

[Cleveland Mom]

bip,  as a mom, I know how badly it hurts when a child is hurting or having difficulties coping with a situation.  As parents we just have to try to do the best we can.  Many, many kids have to cope with moving and changing schools.  Think about all of the families that are uprooted when a parents job gets transferred.  I live near a Ford automotive plant and I have seen many families come and go in my community.  

Also, many if not most moms work outside the home.  If you need to provide for your family then that is what you need to do.  You are doing the right thing for your family.  As stated, you are the expert on your family.  Also, I don't think that anyone on this forum was telling you to quit your job.  We were trying to learn more about your situation.  There are positives and negatives for moms that work outside the home.  There are also positives and negatives for stay-at-home moms too.  

I, for one like to come here to offer whatever information or knowledge I have as well as do some "use of self".  By this I like to offer more than what I know, I like to use my experiences as a person and as a parent to potentially help someone.  I also like to discuss values, we can not free ourselves of values.  Its silly to pretend that we can.  

Change is part of life and your son is learning this, there is nothing inherently bad about having to move to a new neighborhood or go to a new school.  He just needs a little TLC as another poster pointed out on your original post about Kenny.  It may turn out that with a little extra care and support, this move will be a postive thing.  Try to focus on the positive aspects of the move, for yourself and your family.  Talk about these things.  If you appear anxious or nervous about the move and the new school, Kenny will pick up on this and it may make him even more apprehensive.

One of the hardest lessons for us to learn, especially us ladies is that it doesn't really matter what others think of us.  You seem to be a caring, loving sensitive person.  Trust your own judgement and be confident in your decisions.  You are the expert of your own family.  Best wishes...

[RockRose]

bip,  I'm sorry if I said something that offended you.  We can all only know you through what you post, and what you said is:

"I tell him I work for extra money so we can do more things together.."


If you are working because otherwise your family couldn't survive financially,  that's another thing,  and I think everyone alluded to that.

If you want to be understood on a bulletin board,  you have to be careful to be clear and  say things the way they are.

Best wishes.

[bip]

THANK YOU

[bip]

no worries.IMy mind is racing constantly cause Im in the process of moving.so much stress on me right now.....

[April2]

Bip, I didn't tell you to quit your job either. I was trying to think of ideas to help your son with this move as I think everyone was doing. I know how stressful a move can be. My husband just retired from the military but while we were active duty we moved about every two to three years including going oversees. I know how hard that can be for kids. But fortunately kids are pretty resilient and usually adjust better than us adults! It's always been very hard for me to make friends and then have to move. My 12 year old son cried when we got on the plane to go back to the States. He didn't want to leave his two best friends. I made sure he got their email addresses, etc. so that he could stay in contact with them. Once we got to the States, I tried to keep the kids busy with swimming, etc., to keep their minds and bodies busy so that they wouldn't dwell too much on the move.
Try not to stress too much. He will pick up on your cues. If you act happy and confident about the move and try to keep it positive, he will feel better about it himself. It will take a little time, but probably not as long as you think!
I wish you the best on your move. God bless.

[koukla29]

Bip, I never told you to quit your job, however, since you only want Cleveland Mom's advice, I will not post to your threads anymore.  Best wishes

[anxiousmomtobe?]

I personally believe that the decision about whether or not both parents should work is highly personal and each family has to do what works for them.  Parenthood is full of guilt, whatever you choose.

I do work.  I own a small company.  However, I moved my office home 5 years ago.  I sometimes feel bad that I am not spending enough time with my son.  I try to do the best I can, just like you do I'm sure.

When you post on a forum like this, you are going to get lots of opinions, that is all they are....if they offend you or feel judgemental, discard them.