Toddler terrified of new things/people

[Dragon13]

Hello,
  I have a 3 1/2 yr old niece that is completely terrified of people and noises, and well, almost everything. Her mom can bring her to my house and be there for two hours and yet she still will be crying and will not let go of her mom. i have a son that is about a year older than her and she will not even play with him. He offers her toys as well and she hides her face and says.. "home.... home...home." or "go ...go..go".   If there is a time that she is somewhat calm, all it takes is for someone to laugh and she starts screaming and crying. If she puts her in the car seat , she will scream and scream because she wants out.  I have often thought she may be autistic, but i also have heard her talking in the background when i talk to her mom on the phone, so she doesnt quite fit all the symptoms of autism , so i really dont know. Her mom is at her wits end and doesnt know why she acts that way and she cant take her anywhere without her having a fit. I have tried to look up possibilities but noone has seemed to have quite the same problem. I know she should check with a doctor, hopefully i can suggest it to her in a gentle way. But has anyone had this problem with a child ?? any clue to what the problem may be ??

[Sally44]

I picked up on your post because you said the girls speaks and therefore it cannot be autism.  Autism is a spectrum disorder.  So it ranges from non-verbal to above average verbal communication as well as gifted children.  It is more about how the brain is wired up.  Her reaction to different environments could be due to changes in general which some people on the spectrum find very distressing.  Does she behave like this in all environments outside of home?
Her response to noise may be down to Sensory Integration Disorder, again common with those on the spectrum.  Any or all of the senses can be over or under sensitive - it it can fluctuate day to day or even throughout the day.  So her response maybe to the noise she finds sudden/unpredictable or unbearable.
But whatever the cause, your friend needs to make an appointment to see her child's paediatrician because these behaviours are affecting her social interaction - which again is a trait of autism.
You can google DSM IV Autism to see the diagnostic criteria that professionals look at to give a diagnosis.  My son is High Functioning Autistic and is verbal and goes to mainstream school.  He does have problems with the social use of language and play skills.  Someone with Aspergers may do even better.  There are thousands of charactertics of autism/aspergers and no child will have all of them.  Even families where more than one child is on the spectrum will tell you that they have completely different characteristics eventhough they have difficulties in the main areas required for a diagnosis.  Let me give you an example.  One child might be totally non-verbal, whilst another might talk continuously about their favourite subject regardless of whether the person they are talking to is even interested.  That is the complete range of the spectrum and children can fall anywhere inbetween.  But both those examples demonstrate problems with speech and social interaction.

[jdtm]

Your situation sounds similar to the post below this one - "excessively clingy and shy 2-year old" - please read the posting and the reply.  I suspect your niece is suffering from anxiety - possibly social and/or separation anxiety.  Hope this helps ...