Toddlers Experimenting ?!?!?!?!?

I have a 4 yr old son and I live with my friend who has a 3 yr old son. We usually let them play in their room with little supervision, well today my friend went to check on the boys and found them in a very bad situation. Her 3 yr old was performing oral sex on my 4 yr old. I want to know what we are supposed to do and how we are supposed to handle this b/c we are at a loss for words...any advice?

[adgal]

Well, I have an almost 3 year old, and although he is curious about body parts, and certainly does touch himself, I cannot even imagine something like this.  I can't imagine it would even occur to him.  I think if this were me, my first stop would be a Pediatricians office.  I might ask the children where they got this idea, but think I would probably consult an expert on the best way to do this. I think the first thing that would probably pop into my head would be that this is a learned behavior and I know I would be alarmed.  It could be anything from something he has seen on TV or somehow witnessed, to some sort of innapropriate behavior someone has shown him or even performed on him.  I do think it needs to be investigated.  The only reason I wouldn't just come out and ask, is that I know my son will often agree to please if that makes sense, and for the, honest answers would be really important.  So I would consult a professional in the best way to approach this.  I would not ignore it.  I also would not allow them to play together, or with other children, unsupervised.  Poor little guy, and I hope all is ok in both their worlds.  Take care.

[Chasity18]

I'm worried about reporting it to a dr b/c where I live the dr's call CYS for the littlest things.

[adgal]

Well, I can understand your fears, but I think the main priority has to be the child right?  If something has happened, you need to get to the bottom of it.  I don't think something like this means the worst has necessarily happened, but I don't think it is normal for a 4 year old to engage in oral sex.  It's hard, but sometimes we need to put our own fears aside to do what is best for our children.  It's up to you what to do, this is just what I would do.  Best of luck.

[mckee513]

This isn't a "little" thing and cys should be notified. It's your job as a mom to keep your children safe. Exploring on there own is different. Wow I can't imagine not going to a Dr. You are a parent!!! Protect your child!!!

[maria920]

I agree on consulting with a dr in this matter! If it were me id call the dr immediately.  Even if ur scared of cps gettibg involved if u have nothing to hide then u dont have to worry abt it.  But for the safety of ur son put ur fears aside. I cant imagine what ur going thru i wish u the best!! Try and stay calm around ur son speak to the dr and go from there. Please update us on what going on.

[maria920]

I agree on consulting with a dr in this matter! If it were me id call the dr immediately.  Even if ur scared of cps gettibg involved if u have nothing to hide then u dont have to worry abt it.  But for the safety of ur son put ur fears aside. I cant imagine what ur going thru i wish u the best!! Try and stay calm around ur son speak to the dr and go from there. Please update us on what going on.

[Chasity18]

I was not calling this a little thing, but my friend lost her kids just over alligations that she was hitting someone elses.....I cant afford to lose my kids b/c some sick dr decides to tell them im fondling my kid!!!!!!! I have tried to talk to my 4 yr old about it and he just keeps telling me the 3 yr old made him do it and he doesnt want to go to jail....idk where that is coming from......look i know all u guys are right but im still tying to process all this and im still a lil scared

[mckee513]

Someone told him if he tells he will go to jail. Sorry but you need to do something. You're friend lied ppl don't have their children taken away for no reason. And alledged behavior is not a reason. They need proof to have children removed. Again protect you child! Why ate you on here unless you are hoping someone will say this is okay. It's not.

[adgal]

I'm a mom, and the idea of anyone taking our kids for any reason is absolutely terrifying.  I understand that.  However, right now the most important thing is getting to the bottom of what is happening in these kids worlds right?  You are a loving caring mom, and probably in shock right now.  It is important though, to react and react appropriately.  They are not going to just take your kids, but they will try to get to the bottom of what is happening.  That is the most important thing.

[maria920]

Again i agree with the above. U need to try amd put ur fears aside tht someone else put in ur head. U need to do ehat is right here and tht is taking ur child to the dr right away. I kno its scary but ur chold needs to b protected and ur the one who has to do it. Like it was said above if ur looking for someone to say this is ok or normal ur not going to get tht bc its not. Im mot trying to b harsh pls dont take it tht way just trying to have u see tht ur child is more important than ur fears. Pls do whats right and get ur child checked out asap.