Touching each other's private parts

My husband witnessed our 4 1/2 year old daughter and a 5 yr old female friend, touching each other's vaginas. What should we do/say to them?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Tell them that this behavior cannot be repeated, that touching one's genital area is a private, personal matter and should occur only when we are alone and in private, never in a public setting. Be sure to let the friend's parent(s) know about the episode. Also, in conjunction with the friend's parent(s), do some checking about how such interaction occurred to the kids. This can be helpful in figuring out if either has been exposed to any sexually inappropriate behavior by someone else.

[lilgirlsdaddy]

Don't embarrass or humiliate her, but tell her that touching other's privates is a no-no. And tell her that no one should touch her's either. The only time she should be touched there is when she bathes and uses the restroom. My daughter did the same thing and her Pediatrician said that, "it's normal for her to be curious like that, but tell her that she shouldn't touch others there and they shouldn't touch her." In fact, I quit bathing her before she turned five because I did't want her having memories of me having my hands around her private...I'm her daddy, not a sick-o.

As our daughter got older, we noticed that she would touch herself alot...at the most embarrassing times and places. We talked to her Pediatrician about that and he said to, "Send her to her room and tell her that if she's going to do that, to did it in her room, in private. But don't scold her, and don't embarrass her. It's normal."

In all honesty, I think everyone, as a child, has experimented with that. So don't worry yourself over it and try not to be hard on her. Especially since she's so young. It's very likely that she won't remember anything about it. But as she gets older, she will think that it's wrong to do that and she will feel like she's always known that. Teach her that it's not the right thing to do. Try to invent a game to help teach her. She will learn and have fun learning. ~God Bless

[CiQuin]

Thank you so much for your wonderful words of wisdom. You sound like a great father!

[tashalee]

A related discussion, Caught 5 year old daughter playing with friends private parts.  What can I do ???? was started.