Troubled single mother of a preteen

[slmoore1126]

My daughter is 11 yrs old.  She was diagnosed with ADHD/ADD at the age of 5.  Since then she has been in therapy for molestation.  She was molested at the age of 5 by a family member who is serving a life sentence.  My daughter has become a hand full to say the least.  She steals constantly along with lying, hiding food in her room and getting on the Internet to watch porn.  She has stolen things from me, my fiancée, my grandmother, grocery stores, and anywhere else she goes.  She tells me that she has prayed and asked God for help, but she can't help herself.  I am at my wits end because I don't know what to do.  She is in therapy and is taking medicine for her ADHD/ADD, but her behavior is unbearable.  I live in Arkansas and there seems to be no place to take her for help other than her therapist.  I don't want to put her in the system by sending her to juvenile, but I don't know what else to do.  I'm tired of living like a prisoner in my own home.  I have to lock up the food, my personal things including my cellphone and computer.  She has even come to me and asked me to pray for her just so she could steal my cellphone to watch porn on the Internet.  She had me call the police to the house because I had thought someone had taken my laptop out of my room only to find it in her room on a porn website in her closet after the police arrived at my house.  I have a very serious problem on my hands with her.  Please someone tell me what I should do to help my daughter?  I'm afraid she is going to steal from the wrong person and end up in jail or in the grave.

[jdtm]

There's an internet site - www.bpdfamily.com - which might be of help.  One of the forums - Raising a Child with Borderline Personality Disorder - might help.  I'm not saying that your daughter has this disorder but that there is a lot of - Suggested Reading - at the top of the site which might be of interest.  Just a suggestion ...

[slmoore1126]

Thank you for your concern with this matter.  I'm glad someone is willing to talk to me about this and help me get through this tough time.  I spoke with her therapist again today because since I posted the first time she has been getting even worst.  She stole a medium can of peaches from the pantry and had them in a bowl beside her bed this morning.

The therapist keeps telling me that we can't put her into residential treatment unless she is physically hurting herself or others.  I can't call the police on her because that would give her a criminal record.  The therapist stated today that we are going to do a psychiatric evaluation on her next month.  I told her that I would keep the pantry locked from now on in hopes of keeping her from stealing food from it.

This is getting so tiresome.  I love my daughter with all my heart, but I can't continue like this.  I'm not getting much sleep because the only medicine they have her on for sleep is trazodone and they say if I give her more than 200mg it could increase her heart rate and she could die in her sleep, but if I give her less than 250mg to 300 mg she won't go to sleep and she will be crawling around on my bedroom floor trying to steal my laptop or my phone to watch sex videos.  The therapist said that the sex videos are her way of understanding what happened to her, but he didn't penetrate her he just fondled her.  She watches stuff on there I wouldn't even watch (anal and double penetration even triple penetration) which I don't even see how women get off on that one.  I am so confused as well as concerned for her because it doesn't make any sense to even watch that stuff.

She is to go and talk with the doctor Wednesday and the therapist Thursday.  I will keep you updated on her progress now that I know that there is someone out there other than me that is concerned about her mental well being.

By the way, I read some of your other post about child behavior and I must say, I wish I was more like you when it comes to discipline.  I honestly try to be hard with her, but knowing there is something wrong upstairs I guess is what's holding me back some.  She has so many different diagnosis for her behavior till it's pathetic.  She had been added to so many different behavior status till it is almost unheard of.  I just hope I can get some help for her before she gets hurt by someone for stealing their property.

Thanks again for your concern and listening to me.  It really means a lot to me.

[stayathomemommyof2]

what does her therapist say