Trying to Wean

[011207]

Hi.  My DD is 14 months old and she LOVES LOVES the booey as she calls it.  I nurse her much less than I used to obviously because she is on regular foods and has about 12 teeth BUT she will not ive it up.  I've tried to only do it at night but she will completely flip out.  I'm thinking I've waited too long to do this.  One reason for that thought is the fact that she has never, you read it right, NEVER slept through the night yet and it's not because she's hungry, she gets plenty to eat during the day, it's because she is so used to sleeping with me and having the boob at her immediate availability.  I know I've created a monster so to speak but can anyone offer me any alternatives as to how to wean her off, even just during the day, without having to allow her to cry and cry.  I just can't take it.  That's also one of the reasons she is still in MY bed, I refuse to let her cry it out but I really am at the end of my rope.  I haven't had a full night's sleep since before I was pregnant.  
I guess I'm looking for a miracle where she will just stop nursing and sleep through the night.... I know that's not oging to happen.  The dr said she just doesn'tneed much sleep as she never naps either but she's not cranky for it, I am!!  He says by about 2 her system will shift but I'm not sure I can hold out that long, LOL.
Thanks in advance ladies.

[April2]

I saw this on Supernanny once. She too had a 14 month old daughter that was tied to the hip, so to speak, and could not seem to wean her. Jo (the Supernanny) told her to lay in bed with her daughter facing her with a bottle. She said to place a pillow between the two with the mom's breast hidden underneath the pillow and to stroke her daughters face and talk or sing soothingly to her while offering the bottle. It took awhile and the baby resisted but the mom kept at it. I think the first day or so she missed her nap because she was so tired and fussed so much wanting to nurse. But finally the mom was able to bounce/walk with her until she fell asleep. That time it was without the breast OR the bottle! I'm not sure if it'd work with you, but it's worth a shot!

[Agiesmom]

I probably shouldn't be replying to this because I don't see anything wrong with her still nursing.  My son gave up nursing on his own around 11 1/2 months, but he still didn't sleep through the night until he was FIVE.  Yes, five.

He would always wake up and cry for me and I always went to him (never let him cry it out).  After doing that for quite a while, I just let him sleep on his crib mattress next to my bed.  (We called it his cozy spot.)  It was the only way any of us got any sleep.  He then transitioned to starting out in his own bed, knowing that if he woke in the night, he could quietly come into our room and sleep the rest of the night in his cozy spot.

He's now 11 and well-adjusted, independent, and has been sleeping through the night in his own room without any problems since he was five.

I don't know if there is a way to get a baby to sleep through the night without letting him/her cry it out.  I think they eventually give up crying when they don't get a response, but I just could never do that (I have an 8-month-old and won't do that with her, either).

You need to figure out what is best for you and your family without being influenced by other poeple who think they know what's best.  I think what's best is a mother being comfortable with her own decisions--I think a baby/child can sense when you are not.

Good luck to you!

[011207]

THANK YOU!!!  I don't see anything wrong with it either.  I loved and still love having her sleep with me but it's taking it's toll.  For one I know she knows I am readily available and threfore is more easily inclined to wake up to have that contact.  The other reason is that even though we have a california King size tempur pedic bed, it's hard for my husband and me and my daughter to all sleep there and my alone time with my husband is severely lacking ,not that I mind but apparently he does, LOL.
We are very close, my DD and I. I have never let her cry it out.  I actually tried once and it lasted 3 minutes. We both threw up and I cried for days vowing to never let her suffer like that again.  LIfe is hard enough.  I am there to protect her.  All she knows is she is with Mommy all the time and then she'snot.  I'm not comfortable with just breaking her free of that closeness cold turkey like that.  She cannot posibly grasp it at her age and any age for that matter!!!
I always thought that there had to be a better way.  
I suffer from 3 herniated discs so it's really starting to effect my back, this sleeping arrangement.  
We are joined together.  I respond to her EVERy need and always have.  I've come under a lot of persecution for this, as I'm sure you have but I don't care.  My parenting doesn't stop just because it's night time.
I plan on moving her crib directly next to my bed and drop the bars down so she can touch me.  
I have gotten advice like put vinegar on my nipples etc but that seems terribly traumatic to me.  She's always had the booey available and then I'm suddenly going to take it away.  
Like I said, it's really no longer for nutrition, it's merely for comfort BUT if I'm honest, I don't know ifI'm ready to stop the comfort and closeness I get for myself.
I don;t know what my question is anymore.  I'm just glad I got feedback from someone who feels the same way I do.

And thanks to you, April.  I have seen that episode of Super Nanny.  I've tried it and it doesn't work.  She cries like I'm killing her.  I also don;t really listen to much of what Super Nanny says anymore because in her book she advovcates the complete crying it out method.  While I am not judging and it might work for some, it doesn;t work for me.  And that woman had other kids and needed to devote more time to then rather than all her time nursing as I have only one and would love nothing more than to nurse her foreve.  
I  guess I'm a bit if a freakand maybe too attached????

Thanks ladies.    
    

[Agiesmom]

I'm right there with you.  Our 8-month-old is in our bed and I was just thinking the other day how my husband might be needing some more one-on-one time with me.  But he would never suggest that she not be with us.  I have a Baby Bunk (cradle attached to the side of my bed) and I'm thinking I might let her sleep in that part of the night.  But to be honest, when we went to bed last night, she was in it (I put her to sleep when she's alone in it) and I put my hand on her chest and felt her breathing for a while and then I just picked her up and brought her into bed with us!  LOL!  I couldn't stand it any more.  So, I do understand that you like the closeness, too.  We have never slept the night without being next to each other (even in the hospital after a c-section).  And I do wonder if she somehow smells me and the milk (my baby isn't on solids yet) being right next to me like that and maybe it wakes her, but if that's the case, that's ok for now.  I just decided to do what feels right.  She's not going to be in my bed forever and this is our last baby (I'm 43), so I'm just going to enjoy it while it lasts and not worry about it.

My sister did the crying it out thing and so did my cousin and they occasionally make comments to me about how "attached" my baby is to me (like that's a bad thing or something), but I don't care.  I don't understand how they did what they did and would never comment to them about it...I'm not sure why people think they can give me their unsolicited opinions (people do this over home schooling, too).  But I'm getting better at ignoring it all in my old age!  ;)

Best of luck to you--I hope you find a way to make everyone (in your immediate family) happy!