Twin boy being bully at school

Hi,
I have twin boys who have started kindergarden this year. They are in the same class at school.
I have been told previously on occasions that one of the boys is hurting other children at school physically.
Today we had a letter sent home telling us that he has been pinching and hitting again. My husband and i do not know what to do. The only thing we could try is maybe seperating them into different classes. The twin that bullies has always been the dominant one and bullies his brother also. They do fight a lot at home but we just put this down to sibling rivalry.

Please help!!!!
I am  a lost mum trying to do the best for my children and this concerns me.....

Cheers Twins7877

[lexchlmoo]

hi, i'm actually a  twin myself (fraternal), though people still got us mixed up.  we look nothing a like, but that's how the stereotype goes.  Growing up i was okay being associated with my twin.  i loved having my twin always there  with me.  She was my comfort.  when we got older we were put in separate classes, say 4th grade.  i missed my twin, while she seemed to thrive on her own.  one thing i notice now, is that my twin wanted to be an individual.  she didn't want to be always associated with me. she wanted to be her own person.  ex. she was in beta club and i wasn't.  they were to go on an out-of-state trip and of course i couldn't since i wasn't in the club.  so my mom didn't let her go, cause i wasn't going.  we are completely different people, even to this day we are so very different.

in other words, treat them as individuals.  to help with the sibling rivalry, try giving them more individual attention.  celebrate and help them express their individuality away from each other and together.  me and my sister shared everything, of course i didn't care, but she hated it and she took it out on me.  she even went as far as running away(down the road - i took this as her cry for help.  she use to be the quiet one.).  she felt like she was always in the background.  She would say your good at everything, i don't have any talents.  so help them find that difference and be there own person and celebrate that about them.  

i think it may have also hindered me growing up "always having her around" socially.  i was an out spoken child in elementary, but once i hit middle school, i became very introverted and didn't make friends very easily by myself, while she did.  she thrived in high school, while i took the back seat cause i didn't want it.  i became quiet.  so go a head and separate them.  and try not to compare them to each other. even to this day i have a bit of a problem with "new" people.  i come off being really shy and quiet and i was nothing like this when i was young.  i was the crazy and silly one.  and still can be around my family, but by myself(now living own my own with my own family) i can still be introverted and it's frustrating.  While she is still thriving making friends and being outspoken now.

i noticed that people love to dress twins the same and compare them.  i  got stuck with being the bad twin and her the good twin.  try to find a balance with them, so they are not competing with each other, so much. or grow up comparing themselves to each other.

do your twins look a lot a like?  if you dress them the same or have the same haircut, try buying different clothes or giving them different hair cuts etc.  if they share a room like me and my sister, try giving them there own space in that room. especially when they get older and want privacy.  my sister use to lock me out of my own room a lot.

also, when we started kindergarden, i use to be stingy with my twin.  i wouldn't let no one play with her.  do you think your son is doing this, maybe that's why he's hitting other kids?  cause i remember getting mad at other kids cause they would come ask to play with her and i would be like NO, she's my sister.  but once i started making other friends of my own, we started playing separately more often.

i hope some of this has helped.