Ughh need to move out ASAP!

[melissa_182]

I had already posted something about hating my husband's 4year old niece but it got deleted because I cussed a lot on that post but I was so angry, anyways... My husband brought home fast food & we were eating everything was fine until his freakin niece came out of her room. She came saying she didn't eat anything so we can give her food it's not our fault her mom is too darn lazy to get up from her bed to make her something. I know she ate because she came from a freakin party & her mom always takes food to their room. I hate that she never leaves & I can't do anything because she always has crap to say about it, it's so annoying I can't even drink water because she goes to tell her mom everything & she always has to ask where I'm going. I had already told my husband I don't want her anywhere near me because she's constantly hitting me close to my belly or purposely tripping me when he's not looking and when he's at work. I know she's only 4yrs old but she makes me hate her so much she's never nice to me unless my husband is here & we're eating. She always acts all innocent in front of him but when he's not looking she takes advantage to hit me. I've told her mom & she doesn't tell her daughter anything! it makes me so freakin mad she's witnessing her daughter hitting me or throwing her self on top of me & just stays quiet. I hate Tuesdays because since it's my brother in laws day off my hubby always wants to go out with his brother (in his mini van) I gotta sit all the way in the back with my husbands niece & since no one sees shes constantly kicking me in the car, I tell her to stop &its the only time my husband & her dad get mad at her. Ughhh I wanna move out ASAP I can't stand her, I've yelled at my husband's niece & she just laughs & grabs the cooking spoons & starts hitting the walls & tv with them or she goes to our closet & since we have the mirror closet doors that slide she likes to throw my clothes out on the floor & she starts hitting the mirrors with her toys. I iron my husband'a work clothes & hang them up, I turn around for one minute & his clothes is already wrinkled again &on the floor.

[mommy52]

I also agree, the problem is not the child, it is the parents. Clearly, by reading the behaviors that the aunt who is 23 weeks pregnant has described, the child might just have some psychiatric issues that need to be addressed. Sounds like she needs some testing. Maybe there is some kind of medication that could help control her behaviors. The fact that all this is known to be going on and not brought to attention of her pediatrician. This could almost fall under the category of child neglect/abuse. Prayers and blessings to all involved. Keep us posted.

[specialmom]

It's hard!  Hopefully your husband can get something better.  And maybe you can do some online school while unemployed so that down the road, you can make a good income.  I think medical coding and things like that are good myself but it depends what you are into.  They have all sorts of grants that can help pay for your school if not all of it.  So, if I were you, I'd look into that and use this time to set yourself up for later.  

I don't know . . .   isn't there 'anyone' else you can live with?  I'd do just about anything to not live with his brother and family.  They sound kind of crummy in many ways and that is just not conducive to your happiness or raising your baby the way you probably want to.  

I just feel bad for you.  I feel bad for that little girl and her brother too because her parents sound 'out to lunch'.  But that part isn't under your control.  But I wouldn't want to be around it.  So, I feel bad as it doesn't sound like   you want to be.  I wish you the very best of luck for some changes in the very near future.  peace sweetie

[melissa_182]

I understand EVERYONES point but it's my post my living situation.For those of you with the rude comments & saying my post should be "removed" I know it's not her fault she's the way she is & please understand I was angry when I wrote this post, of course I don't hate her because I know her parents don't give her the attention she needs. I don't think hitting children is right either but she does need some kind of discipline. I know some of you were joking around & didn't actually mean it. Me & my husband are trying our best to move out he's getting another job already. The reason we haven't moved out is because he only works Fri-Sun. I did apply for jobs before I got pregnant & still keep applying but now that I'm 23 weeks it's even harder to get a job.

[nursegirl6572]

I don't see anything worth joking about in this situation, and certainly I don't think any of the comments above were funny, even if they were meant in jest.  Maybe I just have a different sense of humor.

[specialmom]

This was moved to a child behavior forum.  which means that other parents could read this and not know it was a rant/joke.  That did need to be clarified.  Who knows the intent of a LOL.  I thought much of it seemed quite mean spirited but also just the flow of the thread.  However, anyone reading it needs to know that handling an issue with a child that way is not acceptable.  

Whether it is easy or not, things have to be done so that this situation doesn't continue and moving with these people to another apartment would just be setting the poster up for quite a difficult and possibly miserable life.  I would do anything I had to in order not to do that.  That was the suggestion and I stick to it because I can almost guarantee this will get worse when the new baby arrives.  

Wishing the poster luck and know that I understand YOUR vent and just hope you can get away as this situation isn't working.  peace and luck

[emerald9]

I understand how my comments Seem harsh but if you read them all properly you'd see im mostly joking hence the lol i never said ive personaly have done that to a child im sure the other mom ment no harm either things were said toward hense the vent. I dont even hit my own child. I really think its pathetic that you really have the time to highlight everyones comments and judge them. Hun everone is entitled to their own opinions dont get yourself bent over a simple discussion. Oh and if it was that easy to move out im sure they would have done it by now....

[RockRose]

I agree,  SM.  I think this post needs to be removed.  MedHelp isn't the place for laughing about assaulting children and locking them in rooms and sliding the food under the door.  

Melissa - I think it would be crazy to move out and of the current place you are living and move again with this family you are unable to tolerate.

Is there some reason you can't live with just your husband?  I can't imagine living in a 2 bedroom apt with a room for you your husband your baby,  and  room for your BIL,  SIL and niece.  

[nursegirl6572]

Dude.  I would rather live in a card board box under a bridge rain or shine instead of living with that satan infested child.  There comes a point when a child is so horrible, i dont care whose kid it is.  I bet if you whooped her *** bad one time she'd quit real quick with her devilish actions.  You should spank her moms face for not teaching her anything.  I dont have any kids yet but I swear up and down I will beat their butts if they acted like that!!  I feel so bad for you.  Im pissed off for you.  I hope you get out of that hell hole soon! :/


Maybe you should try doing an exorcism on that kid? Jesus Christ.  That's ridiculous!  Will you and him be able to move out soon or are you stuck there for some reason?  That ***** so much!! :/

Wow i feel so bad for you that little witch sounds evil. Not that you should have to but have you tried locking yourself in your room for a day or for now on so you dont have to be around that demand child. If she knocks or tries to get in ignor her. What is her mom gunna say let her in. Hopefully she gets the point to leave you alone and stays away from you.

Better yet.. put her in a locked room all day.  Slip a few pieces of toast under the door.  Lol.  

I'm with annabelwlson! Lock her in a room and slide toast to her lol but that is seriously ridiculous, you shouldn't have to deal with that demon child... you could try spanking her?

Spank her with a blinds switch.  That always got my *** in line lol.


Would you get away with spanking her because i would spank the crap out of her.. pull her hair lol the mom wont see any marks lol ...


Sounds horrible i would have bursted and I've meet kids like that thanks god I've never lived with one just don't let her in your room lock the door lol

You have more patients than me bc I would be hitting her bck since her parents don't kno how to control her.. That's rediculous how the heck does she act in school?



^^^That's basically ALL of the recommendations above.  That is some really disturbing stuff.  Calling her a witch?    Asking if the OP could get away with hitting her?  Telling the OP to hit her back? Hit her with a blind switch?  Lock her in a room?  REALLY?

This is a FOUR year old child people, who is acting out because the adults in her life STINK!  Ugh.  Poor poor kid.  Such a shame.  Even more of a shame that no one seems to understand that.

[specialmom]

I had to comment in case anyone on the child behavior forum read this that the ideas that are outrageous toward a child are not ways to combat the problem, hence my post about it.  It was not meant to start an argument.  best of luck to all.  

[specialmom]

It worries me that anyone even jokes like that.  I just don't think it is funny and if any of it was a bit serious, that is frightening.  

This four year old sounds like she is untethered ---  meaning no one is parenting her.  That's not her fault.  Where is her mother to help her learn?  It all sounds very dysfunctional and sad.  And in no way is a child to blame for a living situation like this.  The poster needs to get out for a multitude of reasons but one is that she doesn't think this is normal to parent the way this child has been parented . . .   or neglected.  

I hope Melissa is able to get out of there.  And SHE did understand what I was saying.  Of which I'm really glad.  Her leaving does not address what appears to be neglect of the 4 year old and for that, on her way out, I'd love her to child protective services to make sure this child is fed and cared for.  

luck to you Melissa.  There is a better living situation out there for you . . . I'm sure of it.  Work hard to escape this for a better home for your child.  good luck sweetie

[nursegirl6572]

The problem is, almost all the comments were directed toward the child, calling her names, and advising spanking and harsh punishment.  The CHILD is not the problem, the adults who are not raising her are and in no way is the answer to start spanking her, pulling her hair (what?) or locking her in a room.  Ugh.

I too found almost all of the comments painful to read.  

[nursegirl6572]

I was thinking the same thing, SM....really very scary, and so wrong!!

Melissa, I feel badly for your situation, but SM is right, PLEASE don't take your feelings out (or direct them) towards the niece.  She's only FOUR years old.  The blame here lies with the adults (namely her mother) who appear to not do ANY kind of parenting and teaching.  She also probably acts out because it doesn't sound like she gets ANY attention, and children of that age need nurtured.  It's just so sad.  She really is the victim here hon.,..and she's acting out for attention.  That's super common.

Your anger towards the child is misplaced.  No one should EVER "hate" a child.  I can understand being frustrated, but please please don't direct the negative feelings onto that child.  It really isn't her fault.  

I agree that you need to make getting your OWN place a HUGE priority.  Your living situation just is not good, for everyone involved.  I agree that a sit down is due with your husband.  You really need to get out on your own, the two of you.

I really hope that poor child finds herself in a better environment.  As it stands now, it doesn't sound like she has a chance, which is so so so very sad.  Until her mother starts consistent and immediate consequences for her actions, and starts giving this child the attention she needs, nothing is going to change, and in fact, it will likely get worse.  Your baby will probably add a lot of jealousy for her too...she's used to not really getting much quality time with adults, so to turn around and see the baby being doted over?  Yeah, that's not going to go well, and in fact will probably make things MUCH worse.  I really really feel for that poor girl.

Best of luck to you hon.

[Msdollie]

@specialmomo Excuse me but I don't think any of us meant anything cruel towards the niece we are just saying it makes no sense for her to act that way.. Yeah she's only 4 but if her parents would teach her how to act maybe she would do better. I don't blame the child it's her parents for allowing it.. she's disrespectful as hell..!! Pushing And hitting ths girl while she's pregnant.. She knows she's wrong bc she does it when no one is looking.. And she should know better than to push or choke her 10 month old brother.. That's not ok at all Idc if she's only 4 I'd beat her butt.. But hey that's my thought in ths situation..anyway @melissa I hope y'all can find a place of your of very soon, your pregnant and shouldn't have to deal with that!! Good luck :)

[specialmom]

I will say that reading back through this, and not referring to you Melissa, but some of these posts are absolutely terrifying that these are soon to be mothers.  Rather appalling comments towards a child.  

[specialmom]

***  I don't mean he saw her being born but just that as she was a baby on, he has been around her a lot.  

[specialmom]

Your husband is probably emotionally close to her.  I got really close to my niece because I was there when she was born like he was with her.  It's really kind of a sweet thing when a guy attaches to a kid like that in my opinion.

Hon, you need to talk to your partner.  It is not reasonable for the two of you to have to live like that.  Any way you can afford a one bedroom on your own (the two of you)?  It would be worth you working if you aren't currently or your partner getting a better job.  

I'd not be able to live with them.  Not because of the little girl (I hope she is being properly parented which sounds in question) but that food thing is crazy.  

Try to get a plan to get out of there.  good luck

[melissa_182]

I wish I could lock myself in a room but I can't, me & my husband sleep in the living room on a sofa bed in a one bedroom apartment. The thing that ***** is my brother in laws wife is looking for a 2 bedroom apartment so we can live with them & have our own room but things will be the same because we have problems with her hiding the food & when we buy food she takes it all without asking. We let it slide cuz we don't wanna get kicked out cuz my husband has lived with his brother for about 5 yrs. Now with my husband's niece well I did hit her once &felt bad about it afterward, I've never hit a child before but she got me so mad. We never took her to the movies or pool again cuz at the movies she was rocking her seat throwing popcorn everywhere she would get up sit down went behind my seat& hung herself. At the pool she gets crazy & throws kicks everywhere &she choked me once then drowned me not too long ago my husband was there & got mad at her. I just hate how attached she is to my husband because he's home most of the time &  her dad works 6 days a week from 9am-9pm so she only sees her dad when he comes home from work.

[specialmom]

Oh, and I do think it sounds like a really good idea to get your own place for sure.  There are so often these kinds of problems when we live with our extended family or that of our partners.  It sounds like this 4 year old is untethered and not getting great parenting which is her parents fault (not hers).  That may be hard to live with and agree it would be best to have your own place.  maybe that can be a goal.  good luck

[specialmom]

I could never hate a four year old.  What a sad story to be honest.  It worries me when we don't have compassion for kids that aren't ours because in general, empathy is something we all should have.  Gosh, don't you want that for the child you are carrying?  Wouldn't you want relatives and friends to be kind to your child rather than always viewing them as a total pain in the behind?  

That's just how I see it.  I know we need a place to vent where it doesn't hurt any real people but dig deep for a bit of kindness towards these kids.  In the long run, you'll feel better about life and then can hope that no one is so irritated by your kids down the road as this.  

And suggestions to spank and pull hair.  Yikes!  Oh well.  Good luck to all

[Cindyyee]

Dudee ! my lil sis in law is the same bird poop ! and i get soo mad cuz she always always bumps hard to my belly, and she always throws things, my belly is bruised. She gets jelouse cuz her cuzzin jazmin gets more love from me. Like jazmin always talks to my baby, brings me snacks without me asking. Rubs my feet, or my back, She will spend the whole day with me even if its just to sleep. Butttt my sis in law, uff the only thing ill get from her is being told from my hubbys dad cuz sopposebly i get her in trouble cuz she is always doing things to me. and they both are 6yrs old. I told my hubby i want out of this house, asap. Because his gramma takes care of a baby, and that evil child is always doing something bad. Im afraid she might even kill my baby..

[Msdollie]

You have more patients than me bc I would be hitting her bck since her parents don't kno how to control her.. That's rediculous how the heck does she act in school?

[aylinn829]

Sounds horrible i would have bursted and I've meet kids like that thanks god I've never lived with one just don't let her in your room lock the door lol

[emerald9]

Would you get away with spanking her because i would spank the crap out of her.. pull her hair lol the mom wont see any marks lol ...

[emerald9]

What's scary is that she hits you and hurts her lil brother. Im scared for your baby. When my first daughter was just a newborn my husband's family friend had a lil girl about 2 at the time and any time she thought no one looking she tried to hurt my daughter and then finally that little brat got to her she pinched up my baby face and bit her little hand so bad she was bleeding i was so mad i told her mom something what was she going to say with how her brat kid left my baby.