Unacepable behaviour

My step son who is 8 has for 3 years had episodes of bad behavior. His mum and dad seperated under very bad terms when he was almost three and he has always had problems with his speech and language which are much improved. The episodes are normally when being made to do something he does not wish to do. They are worse when leaving his mother and when going to school. He is becoming increasingly strong and we are all unable to restrain him. He sometimes seems to forget the episodes he has which incude bulging eyes, name calling, head butting, punching and kicking with huge strength. He has already been excluded from one school. We have struggled to get any medical diagnosis. He appears to not be able to make decisions by himself or think by himself.  He also seems to find it difficulty playing on his own. He would rather play with an adult than a child. He may tell you he loves you several times a day but is very vacant and unemotional. We have had several Educationl Physcologist report which say its largely due to his dificulties in speech and language but feel its now become more than that. He often appears anxious and sad and will quite often have no emotion to a fun packed day or any activities he takes part in. Would like to have some advice of any kind please

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

While he may display difficulty in the area of speech/language, he also displays emotional disturbance and this is the major contributing factor to his difficulty behaving and socializing. What is the nature of the difficulty you have had re: diagnosis? Who has evaluated him?

[rhysharris123]

Thank you for your reply. He has had councilling to see if there was anything bothering him, but there was nothing. He has been seen by the ed phys several times for autism but only speech and language is an issue. Mum belives he was affected by mum and dads volitile relationship(ed phys says no) and the seperation while dad feels that he played the role of mum when he lived with him and that may be the issue because he left so suddenly. I believe he may be experiencing emotional abuse. Mum seems to take comfort that he hates leaving her and creates situation when there are long periods of no episodes. Is this a possibility? We just want to try and get some guidance of where to go for further help as we seem to be losing him and feel we are failing him by not getting him the help he deserves

[rhysharris123]

Would also like to add that he has trouble falling asleep and will fight to stay awake, he will sometimes cry and says he does this because it uses all his energy to fall asleep. Once asleep he grinds his teeth very badly