Unregulated Child

I have a 34 month old in my preschool class that is having severe tantrums, self-control, weak fine-motor skills and unusual social behaviors.  I need help to figure out what I can do to help him function throughout the day.  This child is very smart.  He know his alphabet, all his colors, shapes and can route count beyond 20.He is a visual learner and loves to hear stories on tape.  My concern is his desire and impulse to touch other people, run in circles around the classroom, and inability to feed himself without getting food all over his body.  He drools, and drips saliva everywhere.  He will start a conversation but start to walk away or turn around while he's still talking.  He often walks away talking, and the story if often repeatedly about his mommy and daddy.  He isn't potty trained and refuses to have his pull-up changed.  We give all the children a 5 minute warning for bathroom time, He will walk toward the bathroom, but as soon as he approaches the bathroom he goes into an uncontrollable tantrum by running, screaming, and throwing his shoes off.  I will remove him from the bathroom and sit with him until his body is calm.  He tries breathing and counting to 12, but this happens everyday about 4x, except for when he wakes up from nap.  He's the first to request to go to the bathroom.  I'm confused.  I've placed sand in the room, water and trains in the class.  (He love trains.)  I'm finding that the water and sand helps with the tactile issues, but when we allow him to play with trains he isolates himself from everyone and becomes loss in the motion of the wheels moving, then it's hard to get him to part with the trains.    What can I do to help him self soothe,  control his impulses and improve his oral needs to eliminate the drooling.  I've request that he be observed but the parents will not consent.  I need help because his behavior is beginning to affect other children in the classroom.  Thank you.

[rebbecca]

are his parents involved with him at all in school, or do they use preschool as babysitting? do u know anything about his first few years after birth? my biggest thing would be way is he so scared to use the bathroom! something doesnt seem right! i have to fight with my kids to leave the bathroom,lol.
would u be able to play calming music in the classroom?

[LRM1021]

As you have mentioned, this child needs to be evaluated by a medical professional. He sounds like he is on the autistic spectrum somewhere-- like Asbergers or something similar. But if his parents refuse, you can't really do anything about that.


In my opinion, If he is dangerous to himself, you, or the other children, or if your day care does not have adequate resources to be able to manage his behavior and keep the other children safe and happy, then you have to dismiss him from your daycare.

I say this as a parent who had her child removed from TWO day care centers because of excessive biting when he was a toddler. He was also smart-- knew all his letters, colors, multiple word sentences, all that stuff -- by the time he was 20 months old. But that did nothing in terms of his ability to interact with other children.  I know how it feels to be on the other end of this issue. But, as that parent, I understood, and still agree with, the decisions made-- it is important to keep a big picture perspective. Additionally, I sought help for my son because of this, and it made me recognize that my child has more specific environmental needs than many other children-- and I am grateful that I learned this lesson while he was young. So you could be doing his parents a favor, even if they don't see it that way at first.

[afshan]

I have a 2year old whose behv is similar to the child you described... he throw the worse tantrament i have ever seen... he lies down on the floor, ( anywhere, mall, stores etc..) he throw furniture or what ever he can grab, bangs his head or stright up hit us, some time slape on face.... because of him we as couple don't go out or have anyone over, one of us had to stay home with him.... its a shame , but we (me and my husband) fight over who turn is it to keep him.... it seem like a very sad story... but recently i discovered that it is not me it is his personallity triat, he is born with... he has macho agrressive male personality... so to deal with now i just ignore him or pay full attention to him depanding on the situation.. recently i tried to talk to him and he 'll say "OK" he was also afraid of potty or toilet but now he gives a try once in a while... I am not sure if the child you describe does have a medical issue or not but chech is parents (bilogical) my son has my father's eating habbits and my father in lows tamper... it can be change though and I am working toword it but I know it will stay deep inside him.

[momto2miracles]

I agree that this sounds like aspergers. I would defaintly suggest to the parents that the child be evauled for autism. If the parents won't act I would suggest you have your school psycologist, ot therapist and speech therapist evaul the child to see if he needs special education/ therapies. Most schools are now required to evaluate kids that show issues like these to insure that thier needs are being meet in the best way possible.