Unusual teen behavior?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 years but live separately. He has a smart, healthy 13 year old son that he is very close to and has had custody of  for two years now. He is in school everyday from 8:00a to 2:00p, does his homework and gets good grades. My concern is that he has NO social life outside of school. Everyday after he completes his homework it's either TV or video games. He's got friends but HE NEVER GOES OUT TO PLAY. During the summer it's the same thing. Instead he waits impatiently everyday for his dad to get home at 4:30p. This boy is in no way neglected. They dirt bike, go to movies, bowling, out to dinner, etc. I only see my boyfriend twice a week. Sometimes the three of us do things together and sometimes we need to be alone. In that case he stays over at his aunts house around the corner but calls every hour on the hour, and tries to make his dad feel guilty for not being with him! When I was 13 I never wanted to be home I was always out with my friends. Is this normal behavior?

[srb122498]

Could be alot of things. Some normal, some not. My son never had any kind of social life untill 9th grade. He was very shy and stayed to himself. But he kinda "came out of his shell" in highschool. But, it could be that he's afraid to lose his dad. Why did his mom have custody untill 2 years ago? Did she give up custody, or lose custody? If she gave up custody, the child may feel unloved. If she died, he could be afraid of losing his dad. Playing video games and never going outside is normal in this day of electronics. If you allow that, they will do that. I think if your boyfriend is raising a good kid, that gets good grades, doesn't get in trouble, is not doing drugs or alcohol, not out stealing, and is not disrespectful, I wouldn't worry to much. I would only be concerned if there is a "not normal" situation with his mom (she is not in the picture, she lost custody, she died). Is his mom still living? Does she get him for visitation? Is his dad concerned about this?

[Genene69]

Thanks for your input. The child came to live with dad by his choice. Mom is an on again off again nut case, on welfare, collecting disability, who drinks too much. She still has custody of another child (his brother) 10 years old. She keeps her home spotless and loves her kids but is an emotional wreck. The last time mom had him was 1 week for Easter vacation. I doubt the 13 year old feels unloved. His grandma and grandpa live 2 miles away and spoil him rotten. His aunt lives around the corner from his dad who also spoils him. He has no desire to live with mom because....why? Dad just bought him a $300 X-Box for his birthday. I think he is obsessed with his dad. Friends want him to come out and play and he won't. When his dad and I are together we can't enjoy ourselves because he calls constantly! Mothers Day (I have a 19 year old) while at dinner he called 4 times to ask his dad when he was coming home, so we rushed through dinner !!  I'm pissed off and hurt. There has got to be SOME boundaries!

[wifeofpa]

Raising 2 teenagers of my own (14, 17) and a 15 year old step son my motto has been "Pick your Battle"  My oldest is quite the same way, not into school functions, enjoys video games, no real desire to date or drive. He is quite the homebody. I know where he is what he is doing and he is growing up to be a respectfull, well behaved young man.  On the other hand my 15 year old step son, who had quite the similar upbringing (Mom is a permanent fixture on welfare, Bi-sexual, and substantial mental health issues) is on a path of destruction. Never wanting to be home, peer pressure issues when he is away from home, and don't even get me started on his choice of friends that we quickly put an end too.  Being the "step parent" is a tough role.  My step son wants nothing to do with me or the family it seems and at times it is hard to love a person with such ferver, but we do, otherwise you wouldn't be angry or upset about this.  I would count it as a blessing that he wants to be home, that he feels such attachment to the family unit.  Your obviously a wonderful "step mom" and someone he feels safe with. Boundaries are necessary, and he is old enough to understand that if you are having "alone" time that it is not acceptable to call over and over.  He is in capable hands when you spend time alone so turn of the ringer.  As for the attachment with Dad, It seems as if there may be some seperation anxiety, was there a time in his young life that there was a significant seperation from Dad?

Wish you all the best.