Very upset going to Daycare.

[concerpa]

It breaks my heart to see my child so upset when I take him to daycare.  My son is three and about 2 months ago he started to cry and panic when I took him to his home daycare.  He would tell us that kids where mean and he wanted to stay home.  We talked to the provider about it but his behavior still continued.  Every time we went to pick him up, and it didn?t matter what time he was always on the couch sleeping or sitting. He doesn?t interact with kids very much since this started.  We have since changed to a public provider (pre-k) who has more staff and structure. He is still having a tough time going.  He cries and panics so much he throws up. He hates going!  He wakes up in the middle of the night and says ?no school? which is the daycare provider.  I believe part of the problem is me. My wife and I have allowed him to sleep with us for the last year and a half.  We know he has to make the transition back to his own bed but when should we start this. Have we harmed our child? It has been 2 weeks with the new provider. I know new environments are scary but should we wait until things calm down? Will they calm down?  Could it be more than a separation problem at this point?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

At this point, persist in the new plan. To some extent, only continued exposure to the situation will help him to accomodate to it 'practice makes perfect', to a degree. Relative to the sleeping arrangement, you already know it's not a good idea. Were it not for the difficulty your son is displaying in his adaptation to the pre-school setting, I'd advise you to bite the bullet and change the sleeping arrangement right now. However, given the pre-school uneasiness, I'd wait for another month or so. But, if the pre-school situation shows no change by then, go ahead anyway and have him sleep in his own bed.