Violence on TV and Shows

My fiancee has a 16 year old son who is very into WWF (World Wrestling Federation).  He took his son last year to "Raw is War" and is taking him this year to "Smackdown".   At first I thought it was stupid -- just a bunch of guys knocking each other around.  Then I went onto the WWF website (and also saw a few minutes of it on TV), and found that they have women wrestling as well.  Women (scantily clad) wrestling women, and also men wrestling women.  In the few minutes I saw on TV, one male wrestler grabbed a female wrestler by the hair and dragged her across the ring.

I found this very disturbing and asked my fiancee if he thought this was an appropriate event to be taking his son to.  At first he denied that there were any women at the events he takes his son to -- told me there were different branches of WWF and that doesn't go on at these events.  Then later said that the women there were fully dressed -- although their skirts were very short.  My fiancee thinks I object to the women's clothing (which I do), but I also object to women being treated in the manner they are in the ring.  He says that I shouldn't worry, because his son knows its not real.  I say it doesn't matter if its "real" or not -- even joking about hitting women is offensive.  I also think that by his taking his son to these events, he is condoning the behavior (again, he says that's not true).

I would like your opinion on this situation as I don't have any children, and sometimes think I'm too conservative.

Thank you,

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Diana,

Parents of course will be the ultimate decision-makers about what sorts of things their children will view and attend.

Relative to wrestling, I don't think there's a simple answer. It would be unreasonable for me to assert that, unequivocally, teens either watching or attending wrestling events will contribute to problems as they develop their character, standards, values, behavior, etc.

I think the key variables are the age and maturity of the child, and the prevailing values and behavioral standards in the home.
With a child who is prone to be aggressive, without much empathy and without much impulse control, I'd certainly be concerned about wrestling as a form of entertainment. The same holds true for households where parents espouse violence or aggression as ways to solve problems, or where parents don't demonstrate respect for people in general or even indirectly tolerate violence toward women.

So, I think you're wrestling, if you will, with a tough issue. Hopefully you and your husband can continue to talk about it in a calm and deliberate way.

[Ronald Adams]

hi my name is Ronald Adams and im 18 years old i would just like to say that wrestling is not bad. i have been looking at the wwf for years now when i was about 9 years old my mother told me right off that wrestling was fack but i still would'nt to look at it. Now as for the women how wrestle that's something that they want to do. I could turn on the tv and see a women get the hell bet out of her Hell i could look at the news and see what people do to each other. You said the your husban's son is 16 years old belive me he know's about sex, drugs, and violence. It's not what's on tv its the person that is looking at it. if u dont like what you like then turn it off

[mandy]

I am 17, my boyfriend is a wrestling freak. All he does is talk about it and now he wants to be a professional wrestler. He plays football and wrestles at school. One major problem will all this is, he is very agressive at times. He also has a very short temper. He knows ever wrestling move and if he gets mad it's a choke hold for me. You see my point is, don't let him watch wrestling.  He won't be able to control his temper as well and it could lead to problems later.

[Hardjayboy]

I have a step son who watches a lot of wrestling and likes to wrestle me now and again.  He always has to win by getting me to submit.  You could say this is embarassing as he is 14 and I am 38.  He does have temper problems and has to get his own way all the time.  Maybe if he hadn't watched as much wrestling he would be more normal and I wouldn't be in a choke hold regularly.