WHY????!

My 5yr goes to kindergarten in a couple of months and from time to time he may pee in his pants, then makes up this crazy lie as to why he did it..ughhh its so frustrating to me bc I KNOW he can go to the restroom, he's just lazy! I hate punishing him but I do bc he knows better n have zero tolerance for that n when it comes to patience, so im like a volcano waiting to erupt when it happens...what can I do for the both of us

[MrsPincince]

It sounds like the reason he lies is because he doesn't want to get in trouble. Have you ever considered maybe he has some sort of bladder issue? It may just be out of his control. He probably really doesn't know why and he's probably already ashamed that he's doing it..I wouldn't rule out taking a trip to the Dr just to make sure he doesn't have bladder issues.

[AnnieBrooke]

And I'd consider talking to a counselor about ways to manage your volcanic temper.  If I was going to cause an eruption by telling the truth, and get labelled lazy, and get punished, I would probably lie too at age 5.  He's not so stupid that he will walk into a blast furnace over and over.

[margypops]

Definately agree ...he is afraid of the 'volcano' and who wouldn't be, tone it down, less heavy attitude from you ,you are creating an anxiety he will be doing this for years unless you do .

[RockRose]

I agree.  

The thing that stands out most is your temper at a pretty common thing boys do.

They get interested in something and don't want to stop, so they just pee instead of going to the bathroom to do it.  

He'll grow out of it.

[jdtm]

Our granddaughter had trouble controlling her bladder until she was slightly over five years of age.  Her muscles were weaker and appeared not "to tell her" to use the washroom in sufficient time to always "make it to the toilet".  She is six years old now and that "issue" has now disappeared.  She was not lazy; sometimes, she just did not have enough "warning time" to make it.  She did not lie about wetting her panties; but then again, her mother did not make an issue out of it.  It bothered her mother, but time usually takes care of many things.  I doubt if this is your son's fault and he will not know "why".  It's still advisable to see the family doctor, just in case ...  All the best ....

[specialmom]

Kids tend to get really wrapped up in what they are doing too and stopping what they are doing and going to the bathroom is such an inconvenience.  They wait and wait and then-------- oh no.  They waited to long.  And I agree that his lies are to deflect the horrible reaction you have to it.  

I think that I'd cut your poor boy some slack and look for signs that he may have to go----- crossing legs, hopping a bit, touching himself-------- and a gentle reminder then "do you have to go potty?" may help the situation.  If you are too disengaged to notice that, then I wouldn't be so hot headed about it happening once in a while.  He is potty trained but young.  And it is not lazy to be interested in what you are doing and not wanting to break from it . . . and waiting too long that an accident occurs.  That is just being a kid.  

Work on this temper.  Maybe give yourself a time out if you feel it bubbling up inside of you.  Push your tongue to the roof of your mouth if you feel like yelling.  Take deep breaths.  Picture lots of people watching you and how you look when you "lose" it on your son of 5 years old.  Ick.  In fact, when you are super mad--------- go open the windows and look for neighbors outside and picture their faces when you want to break into a tirade!  Embarrassing, wouldn't it be?  okay, good luck.

[margypops]

and remember us .. telling you this ..imagine our faces here on MH when you feel like you are going to blow ......