What does this mean?

[Whattothink]

I just discovered my 13 year old  enjoys walking around without pants.  The behavior is very out of character considering, he is normally very self-conscious. Whenever he gets out of the shower, he would put his clothes on right away.  He would not change in front his father or I.  I found him laying his bed without clothes sitting in front of a fan.  His explanation was, he just got back from biking and he was sweaty.  I didn't think of much of it because it was in the privacy of his own room.  However, not sure what possessed him, but yesterday he sat in front of our porch without pants, just a Tshirt.  I can not understand what the motivation or what prompted that behavior?  He doesn't have an explanation for the action, other than I was not thinking and that it was hot in the house.  Of course, he assured us that it would not happen again, but I need to understand what prompted the behavior in the first place? How could his subconscious not stopped him from opening the front door and just expose himself.  Especially, we live in a small neighborhood, where any moment in time, his friends will swing by to see if he can hang out.  I don't think he's on drugs.  

If anyone has any CONSTRUCTIVE feedback or can shed some light on the situation.  I would love to hear it.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Children of this age are influenced by sexual impulses stimulated by hormones, and it is not out of the question that there is a sexal component to what he is doing. Now, the behavior in his room is entirley normal - no harm done. The latter behavior you described was more of a concern, because of the 'public' nature of it. That is what to emphasize with him. To be naked or near-naked in his room is one thing; to be on the front porch nearly naked is another. Let him know that you understand he might like to be unclothed in his room and that's OK. But set limits on his being undressed in public.

[Whattothink]

Thank you for your advise.  My concern is he knows what he did was inappropriate and yet he did anyway. How do you distinguish between an error in judgement vs. a propensity towards some sort perversion?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You can't make that determination. Time will tell how he acts. It won't help if you think of this as perversion. Think of it instead as the unexpected act of a young teen. Now that you set the limit, see how he cooperates with it. Also, it would help if you or his father talked with him (not in a disciplinary way) about what happened. See what his own thoughts were/are about the incident. Did he think of the possibility that someone might approach him while he was on the porch unclothed? If so, how did it happen that he decided to take that 'risk'? Or, perhaps he never thought of the possibility. His though process during this is important in trying to understand it.

[Whattothink]

I tried to have that conversation, but he was not comfortable.  We get a lot of, "I was not thinking".  We will have him talk a therapist.  Hopefully he will think about the hows and the whys it happened.  That way we can be sure it was an error in judgement and nothing long term.

Thanks again!