What is my responsibility?

I have a daughter age over 40 years old.  I told a  man who was not her father that he WAS the father.  He loved me so much and did not question me even though he was very careful with birth control. We got married right away.  I collected child support for 18 years.  Someone recently mentioned to my daughter that she did not look like anyone in his family at all.  She eventually questioned him in an argument that he may treat her a certain way because he may have doublts about her being bilologically related. He told her that was a question she may want to ask me.  I told her he was the father.  My daughter asked for a DNA and now the truth is out. She is not his child biological child. What should I do?  

[AnnieBrooke]

She knows the truth now?  I guess I would tell her the name of the man I thought was probably the father, and then be ready for her to be plenty mad at you for hiding the truth all these years.  And be ready for the man who paid the child support to be furious as well.  I don't know if he could claim all the back child support from you or not.  

She wouldn't have had a DNA test if there had not been questions in her mind and her dad's mind, so at least this is not an entire surprise.  

I guess if you want to gloss it a little, you could say you thought the guy (who paid the child support) WAS the dad, that you were certain it could not be anyone else, and that any time you had a doubt you just pushed it aside because the details didn't add up to anyone but him.  Maybe, and I am not saying for sure, it would make her feel a little better about having been lied to all these years if she thought you didn't really think you were lying.  (Or at least that you hoped you weren't lying.)  It all depends on your relationship.  If you have lied to her about other things, even this kind of spin probably won't help.

[margypops]

Tell her the truth and hope she understands ., how do you think she will react ?

[cheshchesh819]

what can you do,your lies have been exposed and now it is up to you to face it and try and explain why you lied to the 2 most important people in your life,you may have thought at the time that this was the best thing to do for everyone concerned,but it isnt,you have a long hard battle ahead of you and you must realise that your actions will suffer certain consaquences,both your husband and your daughter will probably want to know who the real father is and so on,i hope you are all strong enough to come through this.