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What should I tell my 7 year-old about experimentation?

My 7 year-old son is stays with my parents for a month each summer.  He has Asperger's and as a result, very few friends.  My husband and I always supervise any social interaction with his peers and have never allowed him to play without supervision.  My mom called today to let me know that they let my son play at the next door neighbor's house and that there had been an incident.  The neighbors have a son the same age as mine and the two boys have been fast friends all summer.  One of parents have been with the boys at all times until today, and it was the first time my son went to the neighbors house.  I was told that the other child's older sister, who is 16, was watching the boys while their parents were at work, and walked in on the boys experimenting sexually.  She rushed my son back, told my mom what happened, called her mo at work, who them called mine.  When questioned, my son said that his friend wanted to play a game, so they took their clothes off and got under the blankets on the bed.  He said that his friend wanted to kiss his privates, and so he let him.  

My mom sat my son down, and talked to him about keeping our private areas private, even for our friends, and that is not okay for anyone to touch your private areas.  She left it at that and then let it go so as not to make a big deal about it to him.  I guess the other mom called and was pretty upset and embarrassed by the whole thing.  I know that the other boy must have seen this somewhere, and I hope it was accidental exposure rather than something that was done to him.  

However, I have no idea what else to tell my son.  My mom told him exactly what I would have, and I am afraid to talk to him too much about it and make a big deal out of it, especially with his Asperger's.  I plan to continue to bring up the privacy issue and not allowing others to see or touch our bodies, but I don't know if I should bring up this incident anymore.  My husband and I have been extremely careful to not expose him to sexual imagery, and I am really concerned that this is going to cause lasting problems.  He never forgets anything, and really obsesses about new situations.  So far, he doesn't seem upset by the incident, but I am going to watch his behavior to see if anything changes, but I know that this could present problems in so many different ways.  

Because he is 7, what kind of lasting effect can this have on him, and what else can I say to let him know that that is not acceptable, without making him feel ashamed?  
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973741 tn?1342342773
Good.  I can relate as a parent to how you must feel.  I also have a child with challenges and they are particularly vulnerable.  It hurts your heart to think of their innocense taken away.  He is young enough that hopefully this will be a blip on the radar for him and will not affect him longterm.  If you notice that he is sexualized, then I'd seek a therapist.  And for now, I'd supervise him with other kids to make sure he doesn't try to now experiement on someone else.  Good luck!
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Avatar universal
We did talk to the other parent, and the mom is extremely upset.  She is trying to talk to her son right now and figure out where he saw or (which I hope not) experienced this. Thankfully my son is coming home tomorrow so there will be no more opportunities for him to see the other boy.
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973741 tn?1342342773
You tell him that he is to always tell you about such a thing.  You tell him that it is never okay.  And you then do not let him play with the boy.  Sorry, but your son was molested by another child and will now have the repercussions of "sexuality" being awakened in him.  

Children molest other children when they've been molested.  Call those parents and tell them about this.  And I wouldn't let them know in a gentle manner that this is not okay.  Any child that comes into their house is in danger of molestation.  I'm not vilifying the other boy, as he has most likely been molested as well . . . but it is a vicious cycle and parents that ignore that should be held accountable.  

Anyway, I think you don't make a big deal about it but just make it a rule.  No touching or showing privates to anyone and go get your grown up if it happens.  If he becomes overly sexual, call a child psychotherapist/counselor to help guide you through as a family.  good luck.
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