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What to say to my 5 year old girl about masterbating(masturbating)?
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What to say to my 5 year old girl about masterbating(masturbating)?

I found my 5 year old girl masterbating (masturbating) in her room and it scarded me at first. I play it off like I didn't see it. It was the first time (I think) The next day she told me she was going to shut her door and play. I have't talked to her about it yet. I don't know what to say for her to understand and without mentioning the word sex? Casue I know she is to young to know that kinda thing. I know this is normal but is there also such a thing as to much? I think I'm more scared to talk to her without embareing her. I want this to be a positved talk. Who should I handle this?
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134578 tn?1463413330
All you really need to do at 5 is to tell her that if she wants to do that particular thing, it is an activity to do alone in the privacy of her own room.  You don't really need to have the sex talk yet.
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1618776 tn?1337351468
hi well i don't have children, but my neice is 5 and was recently in an incident where an 8 year old boy fingered her. it was a very traumatic time for her, she fell behind at school and even had to repeat. i disagree with AnnieBrooke i think she is way to young to be masterbating (masturbating), i know children like to explore but you could explain to her that it's not naughty but this is not a suitable activity for her. My neice was caught naked in the room with my 5 year old sister trying to put a nappy on or what it looked like, this was a little stranged but we explain to them that they were little girls who's private's were not to be touched by themselves on anyone because they are sacred. i hope this helps in some way.
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134578 tn?1463413330
Aleesha, even some babies masturbate, the research says.  And a lot of parents write in to  this site, and confirm this.  It's not that the babies or small children do it thinking about sex, they are just rubbing their private parts because there is a sensation there when they do.  
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1006035 tn?1391310794
I agree with AnnieBrooke, don't make such a big deal out of it. If  you do that then she will start freaking out with you. We want to teach our children that what our bodies do and want are natural/normal things (at least I do!). Our desires are not something that we need to fear. Just explain that she can only touch herself in private.

PS having someone else touch you and doing it yourself are two VERY different things and cause extremely different reactions in people (especially girls).
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Avatar f tn
I also caught her rubing herself with a stuff animal. Should I tell her not to and leave that alone? Thank you everone for your advise!
Draco
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Avatar f tn
Freud says that people start being sexual starts a very young age.  Many times even young children masturbate.  I would just make sure that she is not doing it in public.  Like others have said we shouldn't be teaching our children that sex of any kind is bad.
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Avatar f tn
i was one of these kids...im 19 now i was 5 at the time of which my parents caught me.  My dad had asked me if it felt good and told me not to do it again it wasnt right. Im sure they said more but thats all i can really remember of it all.  It was so embarassing to me even now.  I havent ever mentioned it again to my mom but i think not making it a big deal would be the best thing to do.
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Avatar f tn
I just think that kids jus like to play with their body parts.. And jus makes it a habbit if they enjoy playing with that certain body part.. It may not even be masterbation (masturbation) its cud be a thing to do wen bored.. Jus like most adults and kids enjoys sleeping with their hands in their crutch.. No masterbation (masturbation) or playing with their private they jus thinks it his feels good to be there.. I really don't believe its masterbation (masturbation) I jus think its jus a body part they jus like to play with or to touch.. Not realising that it suppose to be something that noone should be touching or wanting to play with.. The kids at that very young age don't see it as a bad thing .. I do believe they jus think its all fun and game to touch or play with their own vagina..  
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Avatar f tn
My daughter did it at the age of 5 also. I had noticed it, it was more hunching not really touching.  I worried myself to death for a whole day. I  determined the reason was she spent most of her infantsy  in a crib in our(her dad and myself) room. We were in hotels a lot. She is 22 now with a 2 year old and another on the way
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Avatar f tn
It seems that 5 year old girls subtly masterbating (masturbating) causes stress and panic but 5 year old boys with hands down their pants is seen as "normal for that age." My daughter discovered that rubbing on her rocking horse felt good and started doing this on her chair at school. Because it was sublte, it took a lot of vigilance to get her to curb this behavior in public. We addressed it simply as a good manners and safety vs bad manners and safety issue. The school counselor met with her and our daughter was very clear that she, "Just liked doing it!" We gave her some jewlery to fiddle with...beads or charms that she could slide on a necklace and a sticker chart for a "Manners Grade" and it worked. We continue to have frequent talks about things that make me uncomfortable because I figure they make her feel that way also but she's the kid so it's up to me to help her figure it out. I start off by giving her some praise but leaving it open for her to ask qyestions. Something like, "I was thinking about how you figured out that rubbing yourself feels good. I totally understand that too! But I was wondering (not worried or disapproving) how you figured it out so young, because I was much older before I knew about it." Something like this made her think and ask me questions. If you keep bringing up the topic and answering the questions THEY ask you there will be no big scary sex talk to have and you can get into the more difficult to understand relationship issues around sex and adulthood. The biology part of it is mostly uncomfortable for adults because we attach the emotions to it. You don't need to go further in any explanation that the kid asks at that exact moment. And if a question throws you off just ask, "That's a very interesting question. I'm curious to know what you think the answer is." and make any corrections that you think need be made. I explained to her that while masterbating (masturbating) was "fun and didn't hurt anyone else!" so does thumb sucking which can hurt your teeth and give you a rash on the skin on your thumb. My daughter is 7 now, has not had any further masterbation (masturbation) issues at school or at home and because of an intense interest in babies knows more about delivery than I did when I was pregnant, but she has not asked, "HOW the egg gets fertilized" because she doesn't care about that now, but she knows, "Dads and Moms have special hugs that other people don't." but that's just not as interesting to her as a cute baby. A mental hug to anyone going through this! And bravo for posting the topic!
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Avatar f tn
Hey, I'm a girl and I also started masterbating (masturbating) at around age 5 as well. Really, you don't exactly need to have the sex talk. I'm 15 rn and my mother never really sat me down and explained in detail about what sex is. Maybe its just where I'm from, but that's actually kind of a weird thing to do. Me and most other kids I know just learned through pornagraphy, sex education classes, or asking questions now and then. Its just a natural process in my opinion. Anyways, just explain to her that that is a thing to do in privacy but she shouldn't feel ashamed about it. Explain it gently and keep your voice even or you'll end up scarring HER. Hope it works out :p
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17293848 tn?1458622707
Young kids DO Masturbate!! This is normal. Nothing to worry about it. And she does it in her room, and not out in front of everyone, so that is a Plus also because there are lots of children that plays with themselves in front of everyone instead in their room in privacy.

But now, there is another thing to think about. That even though it's natural for young kids like that to masturbate, it is also possible that she is doing this because there is someone that has molested her. If it were me, I would ask her if anyone has rubbed her privates like an uncle or who ever had an opportunity to be alone with her. Even someone that has babysitted her.  I had a friend that his 2 girls, very young were masturbating all the time and there was a man across the road they would go and visit that would molest them. So that is why they were masturbating.
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