My eight year old has developed a strong separation anxiety. She and I have always been close. When she was 5 and scared to go to a firend's house, I would always protect her feelings and have the friend come to our house. Now, she is afraid to play at other people's houses, physically feels ill before going to soccer practise and cannot sleep over at a friend's birthday no matter how badly she would like to. What are the best steps to take to start to over come her fears?
My six year old daughter has the same fear of people in costumes as the child listed above, and it is the same intensity. What are some techniques that we can employ at home to help her?
We thought about bringing home a big bear costume and a little bear costume and have her dad and her dress up together...
She knows there are nice people in the costumes. She tells us she is not afraid of the people in there, but she is afraid of the costumes. On the way to the museum this summer she said "See Mom? My fear is shaking." She was so afraid there would be people in costumes. She has had to leave field trips at summer camp because of this, and would not go to the zoo because of the 'dancing turtles'. Or the water park--the list goes on and on.
When we ask her why she is afraid, she says she doesn't know. When we ask her if she is afraid they will hurt her, she says no.
But she just gets hysterical when confronted with the possibility of an encounter.
Please help!!
My son is 5 years old. Ever since he was very small, he was easily gagged. The pediatrician said that it was actually a good thing, because the chances of him choking on something were slim because of this gag reflex. He also suffers from "motion sickness" when travelling.
In addition to this (also since he was small) whenever he gets extrememly upset or fearful, he vomits. This has been normal for him, and the pediatrician assures me that some children show stress in the form of wetting their pants, some vomit, etc., and to not be concerned about it.
The problem now is that he has started a new pre-school. Because of the new situation, as usual, he will vomit. His previous preschool was not concerned, they told me they had seen it before and if given time, he would adjust, which he did. This new school insists that he has a "fear repression" problem and that he should possibly see a therapist to learn to cope with his fears. He "needs to learn that vomiting is not an acceptable form of expression, and he needs better coping skills." At age 5?
My mother said that I had the same problem at his age, and I of course outgrew it. I had an abusive father, and always attributed my problem to that abuse. My son, however, has a happy home life, much love and a great support system from not only his father and I but also his aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents. I always figured my problem was situational, could this possibly be hereditary? Stomach problems run in my family, as does a "nervous stomach."
One extra note: he is an only child.
Should I be concerned about this? My Pediatrician isn't, but this school is. Help!
My daughter is 4 years old and is very fearful of sleeping alone. We've tried nightlights, cuddle time before bed, talking about it. The only way she would go to sleep is to sleep on a pallet next to my husband's and my bed on the floor. She's also afraid to go to a room alone. What should we do?
Dear Debbie,
This is not an uncommon fear of children your son's age, but the intensity of his fear is at the extreme end of the spectrum.
The degree to which it interferes with his day-to-day life will determine whether you should seek professional assistance. Left alone, he will likely be less fearful as he develops. But a child mental health clinician with a cognitive-behavioral focus would certainly be able to help him master this fear. If his fear is confined to this one situation, it represents a simple phobia and effective treatment protocols are available to help him.