Where can I find help?

[Tango]

I have 2 children from my previous marrige. I left the marrige because my husband beat me and went on drinking and druging binges. Both of my children are boys and at the time I left they were age 3years and six months. My ex husband was convicted of a felony after the seperation and still is involved with the same people and the same things. Since then I have remarried and my new husband takes full care of the children Money, insurance, a home , love and stablity. This has been wonderful for the boys and myself for three years now. My ex-husband on the other hand Has been real speratic with visitation, child support. He recently dissappeared for 7 months without calling or writing. He was running from the law again. When he was caught and payed for his release he imediantly wanted to resume his visitation. Because of a court order I had no right to stop him. Although he has restricted visitation he takes them when and where he wants. The first of the two last visits my 5 year old fell out of a boat in his care and was not wearing a life jacket. On the second visit he took them riding on a motorcycle without helments. I live 250 miles from my ex-husband now. My new husband is a Sargeant in the Marine Corps. My children love him and my oldest ask me all the time when will he be old enough to really be my hubands son by his own choice. They both dread the visits with my ex husband because of the 250 mile drive back and forth between our homes. The courts keep giving my ex husband the right to visit the children . They slap him on the hand and tell him to do better. My question to you is: As a professional ,In your own opinion
Do think because just because he is the biological father this is a good and healthy relationship for the children? Is it in their best intrest to have his speratic and criminal life style inturupting the stability and structured family life style my husband and I work so hard to give them day by day. They both truely feel and believe we are a family . Who can help me prove to the court that my children would be better both physically and mentaly not to have to be forced to see my ex husband until they choose to when they are ready?
Thank you for reading my Question.
Tango

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Procedures vary in different jurisdictions, but most Family and Probate Courts have some arrangement for the appointment of a person (called a guardian ad litem) to look out for the best interest of the children and to make recommendations to the Court about such things as you describe. If your ex-husband is violating the orders of the Court, it certainly makes sense to hold him accountable for such violation. If he is acting under orders of the Court, you can ask for the appointment of a guardian ad litem to review the current custody decree arrangements and advise the Court how to proceed.