Where do I go for help?

My 8 year old son has a very bad temper and cannot control his anger. I have taken him to a psychologist who tested him for ADD and told me he does not have it. He is in second grade and has been suspended twice and kicked off the bus a number of times. I have had meetings upon meetings with the principal and his teacher. He has seen the schools psychologist and has been in different programs for children with behavioral problems in school. He does have a reading disorder in which he goes to the resource room for. Everytime he goes to visit his real Dad (2times a year) he comes back and poops in his pants for at least 2 months. He does not go to sleep for at least 2 hours past his bed time he spend those 2 hours fighting and arguing with me, he also gets up up in the middle of the night and steals things from his brothers and myself. He is very disrespectful to myself and to others. I dont know what to do anymore I am at my wits end. Please tell me where to go to get him the right kind of help.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Hope,

It's encoraging to see that you are aware you need to seek help for your son. He will require professional intervention. He likely is displaying one of several conditions called Disruptive Behavior Disorders. In light of his learning problem, he may have some neurologically-based, or so-called neurobehavioral, condition.

Seek a pediatric behavioral health/mental health professional who has experience in treating behavior disorders. That person can also help you to decide if an examination by a pediatric neurologist is in order.

[Michael Holmes]

Dear Hope does he act this way with his father it sounds like a problem with your house hold if he does have the problems with his father i am no help i hope this helps you in some way

[jenna]

dear hope: i agree with michael; i knew a little girl at my church who would go to her fathers house and come back an absolute terror! They later found out that it was because he was sexually assaulting her. i pray your situation is nothing like this, but please be aware of the dangers. you're in my prayers.

[Scooter's Mom]

Dear Hope,
Sounds like your son has more than one aspect of his life bringing down his self esteem.  Two specific issues came to mind while reading your question.  First, school can be extremely difficult for our kids with disabilities.  I don't know if your son has an IEP with classroom modifications or adaptations, but you are EVERY bit entitled to getting your son what he needs to be sucessful and feel sucessful.

Feeling good about himself means he will more likely function better and more often, as well.  To find a pediatric psychologist, I strongly recommend working to find one who is not only qualified in working with these issues, but one who your son likes.  All too often, parents end up bribing or coercing their kids into attending one meeting.  It becomes a battleground because he is simply not engaged in the effort.  With any professional, you will know after a few weeks whether or not the relationship permits communication and productive outcomes for each of you.  If so, your son will show signs of being committed to working on the focused issues.

As for parents, we can become resourceful in locating behavioral support groups to help our own sanity.  These groups often will open doors to new resources we had not been aware of.  We can also find what school advocacy agencies or social service programs may be available to address what our child needs.

Think positive and stay in control.