My daughter is one and a half. She is generally a really good baby, she listens well most of the time. But recently she is becoming increasingly violent with me. I have tried methods such as smacking hands, chiding and time out.. but nothing seems to work.
I dont know whether to be concerned or not, because she is still so young, and doesnt really understand alot. But she knows what time out is, and she also knows that she hurts me, because she apologizes to me on other occasions.
But anytime i try to get on to her, or dont give into her, she will smack me or punch me, and i really dont know what i can do..
I am a first time mother.. so i could use some advice.
It will be interesting to see what other members say.
My first thought is that babies learn by what is happening to them. Quit smacking her hands. Completely ignore the violence by her - she is one and one half. She won't hurt you. Your response is what is keeping this going. She is really too young to have much cause and effect work. If she is getting really physical, just pick her up and hug her (gently).
The idea is to (at this age) ignore the negative behavior and reward the positive. She should be able to distract with out too much trouble. Do so. She won't remember why she was upset. She can only smack you if you are close to her. Standard response is NO, and a 2 min. time out every time it happens. You must be consistent. This will not change overnight.
Children two and under, hit and push on impulse. They do not have any control over it. They push other children down the stairs without thinking what will happen, etc. Children that have never been hit, still hit. I found this out with my first born. I was shocked when she started hitting me and my mom. We had never hit her. The same thing happened with my aunt. Her child was kicking her and he had never been hit. If your child hits you say in a loud voice "You do not hit me". Be firm and look her in the eyes (you mean it). That is the best way that I know to handle it. It still may happen, but I bet it happens less frequently. You have to show your child that you demand respect, so that your child will do the same as she gets older. People need to stand up for themselves and demand respect. They will get it. Stop slapping her hands, this will only hurt her hands and could hurt her joints. The tone of voice really is a great tool for raising children. Direct eye contact is also a great tool. Just tell her "No, you do not hit me". Time outs are okay, if she stays.
Well, this sounds very normal for this age. If she is still doing this at age 4 or so, be worried. I would ignore it.
We never hit our girl and she has hit us since she was about 1.5 yrs old. It was amazing to us that she would hit when she was never hit! Anyway, what you describe sounds normal. Most kids go through it, and the terrible twos do not start at 2, more like 1.5 yrs to 3+ yrs! :)
I have never believed that spanking, slapping the hand, or any other sort of physical punishment, however minor, is an effective way to discipline. Even if the action were to stop unwanted behaviour, you're reinforcing the idea that physical force is a useful and appropriate way to let someone know that you don't like what they're doing; and I've always wondered how someone can believe that hitting their child will teach them that hitting is wrong.
It is a pretty common behaviour for young children to start hitting, not that it makes that okay. I'd suggest looking at your daughter with a serious expression and saying, "we do not hit" and then redirecting. If she continues the behaviour (is testy and does not stop) then I'd administer time out.
You'll get a lot of different responses, and decide for yourself which works best for you, but I do strongly encourage that you don't use physical discipline of any kind unless you want to send the wrong message.
I am not against a good old fashioned butt wooping, BUT she is only a year and a half old, so i dont feel like it would really be an effective method. She isnt old enough to understand why i would be spanking her.
Though I have tried the stern voice, and she usually tells me no and hits me. I have learned not to be close to her, last time i tried she hit me in the face and broke my glasses.
But from what i am seeing, time out seems to be a universal method.
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