Why was I so emotional as a child?

[Maybeme90]

When I was a kid of like 4 to 10 (I'm 26 now), I used to get really emotional​. I would get so mad about things that I would actually see red. I would clench my fists and teeth and shake with rage. And then I would be fine. Or sometimes I would get really sad and just sit for hours by myself and just cry (I was homeschooled and had two sisters who mostly just played with each other and left me to entertain myself).
My parents were separated before I can remember, and I lived with my dad all the years I was at home.
I'm sorry if this is long, but I don't want to leave out any important details.
Anyway, things just got worse after I turned 8 because I was molested from the time I was 8 until I was about 12. I didn't tell anyone about that for a few years. I've always kind of kept to myself, and I don't like bothering people.
But after I turned 12 I hit puberty hard and my emotions were even worse. Sometimes I would take walks in the woods and find animals and hurt them. I don't know why I did this. But I did it a few times. I felt bad about it and stopped after my sister caught me and yelled at me.
Well anyway. After I turned 15 I realized that I'm pretty emotionally numb. I mean... I still feel things, but it's like everything has to reach me through a filter. I don't get angry anymore, but I don't get sad or happy, or much of anything else.
I'm smart (I mean really smart, like top 1% on the SAT in the country smart) and I have a good job and I work hard and vote and do all the stuff you're supposed to do when you're an adult. I have a girl friend and she's really great. But I just have so much trouble really feeling anything. I haven't told anyone about this because I'm worried about it. I just lie and pretend to feel things because I don't want to bother anyone, and this is easy.
So I guess my question is, why was I so emotional as a kid, and why am I so emotionless now?

[Sandman2]

Like the above, I am not a psyc, but I am also the CL here - http://www.medhelp.org/forums/ADD---ADHD/show/175 - and have seen what can happen to a child when you know something is wrong and no one shows you how to cope.
  My guess is that as a child your response was how you dealt with either anger or frustration.  What was causing that - I don't know.   Many times being very smart and not being able to communicate the way you want to is highly frustrating.  
   Anyway, then things got worse and you tried to compensate the only way you knew how.  
   I think you finally found out that to move forward, you had to wall yourself off from that which was hurting you.  Which is sad, because that is the opposite of how to deal with the situation.   So for years you have used this filter.  And it is now pretty much a part of you in that it is like a habit gained through constant practice.
   It can be unlearned.  But, you will need help on this journey.   It sounds like you have not had any one you can trust for years - which makes it even more difficult.
   You do show slight symptoms of being on the autism spectrum, but that could also have been due to your environment growing up.  But, it probably wouldn't hurt to research it.  And possibly something like ADD which might explain your frustration and anger between 4 and 10.
   But, I do agree with the above writer.  Even though you are highly intelligent, I don't think you want to take this journey alone - at least not at the start of it.
   Oh, to answer your question, (in my opinion) your behavior now is because what you did as a child did not work for you.  If you had someone you could have talked to...like a school teacher.  If you were into exercise, or yoga.  If you had found any other way to deal with the situation,besides walling your self off from what was happening to you, things might be different now.
   However, the fact, you are now looking for answers is a good thing.  If, I/we can be off any more help - please ask!  Best wishes!!!!!

[PrincessLapis]

I'm by no means the perfect person to answer your question. I'm not a psychiatrist or anything. But you may be highly sensitive, or perhaps have some underlying other mental disorder. That would explain the emotional roller coaster, as well as you were probably effected by trauma from having a single parent, and being alone a lot. Human beings require social interaction, and not having it can have quite the impact on you.
Becoming emotionally distant/numb is likely an after effect of being abused. It's a kind of defense mechanism. You withdraw so no one can hurt you again. A lot of people who were abused in some way, physically or emotionally, tend to react by shutting away their emotions.
If it's something you want to "fix", I would suggest attempting to see a therapist about it, specifically one who deals with patients that experience abuse.
But that's what I have to try and answer your question.