Won't potty train

I have a son who will be 4 in Nov. I have been tryin to potty train him for some time now, but he will not go.I have read different things an been told different things about how to get him to go but,none of them have worked.I am having a really hard an bad time with this issue with my son due to the fact I have alot of people asking me why I have not gotten him potty trined yet.He has went #1 an #2 a couple of different times at different places, but then he jus totally stopped going at all.I have a husband who lets just say he basically gets loud with our son when he has to change a dirty diaper.My hubsand is always like I don't know why you can't tell someone when you have to go to the bathroom or something of the sort.My husband also does not spend the quality time he should with our son.Can this be a factor of why our son will not go to the potty anymore? An what do I do about my friends an family that are always on me to hurry hurry hurry an get our son potty trained? It has gotten to the point where I do not know what to do anymore. Any comments or information would so greatly be appericated.Thanks

[sweetmamajen]

Well, if you think those issues with your husband are a problem (and I do too) you should definitely have a heart to heart with him.
Aside from that.
I started potty training my son at 22 months, after his third birthday and loads of (silent) frustration he still wasn't using the toilet.
We tried everything, keepin him bare bottomed at home, lots of encouragement, I knew not to bribe him, but he was taking forever so I would give him a treat after he went, he still didn't care. I put up a sticker chart so he could see how much he was going and he liked putting the stickers on and was very proud of his stickers, but he still wasn't going consistantly.
At about 3 1/2, he decided one day that he didn't want diapers anymore. He basically trained himself in a day, and even wore underwear to bed. He has had maybe a total of 10 accidents, and that's a high estimate. He's 4 1/2 now and hasn't had an accident in months and months.
Try not to fret, he will get it. I spent so much time being frustrated and impatient, it doesn't do a damn thing except stress you out.
If he wants to take it slow, let him take it slow.
My son is a perfectionist, he doesn't fully do things on his own until he knows for sure he can, he doesn't want to fail.
I've actually even heard that children who don't even get potty trained train themselves before age 5.
Keep your patience, applaud him and give him lots and lots of encouragement.
There are fabric training pants available too that are just like underwear, so he will have the look and feel of wearing and wetting underwear, but it keeps the mess inside. Look for those too, they're great, my daughter uses them.

Good luck :)

[dragonwolf]

First I would like to THANK YOU very much you are the first person who has had faith in me an my son in getting this accomplished.My son knows when he has to use the potty cause he will sneak into the other room an do it in his diaper. Ive tried the sticker thing...making a game out of it...making it funny for him with a bunch of silly sayings he can say to try an get the job done.He always says to me when he is on the toilet you'll be all happy...an i tell he is right. An i agree tryin to get him to do it when hes not ready is frustrating an streeful.But I wanted to again say thanks for being postive with me about this an letting me know it may take longer than i expected.

[blondie111]

I had the same problem with my son, i think it was him just being lazy thats why my son always went in his nappy, but one day i played a game, i put a piece of tin foil rolled up into a small little ball and i put it into the toilet, i told my son that there was no way that he could aim his wee's into the toliet and hit the tin foil, he told me that he could so from then onwards he always went to the toilet in the big toilet but always asked for tin foil to be rolled to see could he hint it...it does work, my son would sometimes ask for the water tap to be on runnning that helps alot too even for me sometimes ha ha best of luck

[nikki827]

I am still having a problem with my son and he is 5. Boys mature alot slower than girls. My sister has twin boys and they still have "accidents". Just let him go at his own pace and reward him when he does go. It feels strange saying this to you when i go crazy trying to get my son to go. My fiance is just like your husband, but that is your child and you can't force him to potty. patience is what we need. It doesn't help that we have family telling us the way it "should" be.

[Mommy3Girls]

Hi, I know the feeling. I dont have a little boy but when my 9 year old daughter was four I was at the end of my rope with potty training her. I wouldnt give up but I could not get her to go pee in the toilet. She would poo, but wet her pants numerous times during the day. One weekend at home I decided to try to let her run around in her pants without her training pants or panties on. So she went the weekend "commando" and she didn't have a single accident the entire weekend. I think it had something to do with the security of having something to do it in (diaper, thick panties, or whatever). She knew there was something there to potty in without using the toilet. Luckily she was at an inhome daycare and my provider agreed to do the same thing for the week. By the end of the week she was completely potty trained. So you can try the commando thing and see if it works for your son too.

[stacey34]

i just posted another comment on behavior issues with my 5 year old daughter. Part of my first comments were on how she too has potty issues still. She sees a Urologist, G.I. specialist, and our primary physician for her bladder control and her nerve damage in her colon. She takes oxybutnin, miralax, and an exlax if needed. She just doesn't always take the time to go though and then has leaks or stains in her underwear. She also wears a pull-up to bed yet and can't stay dry. My 2 yr old is potty trained for the most part and this seems to be an issue for the 5 yr old. not in a good way always. i'm very frustrated and concerned that something more is going on. write back if you have time.
stacey34