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Worried about my 2 year old
I have a son who is 2 (on Friday) and he is what I would call a "late bloomer". He didn't start crawling until he was almost a year old, he didn't start walking until he was about 19 months old. We took him to a specialist when he was 18 months old, and they told us that they now give children up until they are 22 months old to start walking. The doctor checked his leg movements and everything and he said that he was not worried about it. My son than started walking 2 weeks later. Now he just runs around and everything.
My worries and issues are this: Since he started sitting, if he gets mad, he bangs his head on the floor really hard. Hard enough to bruise himself. He hits himself and he also hits us (his dad and I). He has also bit us, especially me and made me bleed. This last time when he hurt himself really bad is when I started worrying more than ever. He got mad after he threw his bottle out of his crib, and he started crying bloody murder and banged his head on his crib so hard that his whole forehead was black and blue. He scratches himself too and I am worried that there might be a sensory issue with him, or his pain sensors are not what they should be. I have his 2 year old well child this Friday, and of course will bring this up to his doctor, but I am wondering if any parent here has ever experienced anything like this?!?!?!?!? Our children don't see violence in our home, we have a very good, healthy relationship between my husband and I, and also with our children. I am a stay at home mom and I have a lot of time with the kids, and also my husband works from home, so we are always around our children. We don't beat our kids, but we definitely discipline them, timeouts and take stuff away as we see needed. My 2 year old has timeouts too, and he thinks its funny and he will laugh in my face. He has now also started spitting inside the house and seems to spit when he is mad too. Another thing I noticed with him, is that sometimes he will cover his ears, as if some sound is bothering him. The TV isn't loud, or anything, nothing out of the ordinary going on. He does it in the shower too, and not only when his face gets wet. Is this a normal thing?
He is also supposed to be talking more than he does, I am starting to worry that not only was he delayed in crawling and walking, but now with talking too... I am not sure if there are any issues with him, developmentally and if so, I am not sure what it could be. Does his delayed walking/talking/crawling go hand in hand with his temper/anger and abuse? I am just really worried, and if anyone has any experience with any of these things, and advice on how to handle it and what else I could do, look for, read it would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you in advance!
My worries and issues are this: Since he started sitting, if he gets mad, he bangs his head on the floor really hard. Hard enough to bruise himself. He hits himself and he also hits us (his dad and I). He has also bit us, especially me and made me bleed. This last time when he hurt himself really bad is when I started worrying more than ever. He got mad after he threw his bottle out of his crib, and he started crying bloody murder and banged his head on his crib so hard that his whole forehead was black and blue. He scratches himself too and I am worried that there might be a sensory issue with him, or his pain sensors are not what they should be. I have his 2 year old well child this Friday, and of course will bring this up to his doctor, but I am wondering if any parent here has ever experienced anything like this?!?!?!?!? Our children don't see violence in our home, we have a very good, healthy relationship between my husband and I, and also with our children. I am a stay at home mom and I have a lot of time with the kids, and also my husband works from home, so we are always around our children. We don't beat our kids, but we definitely discipline them, timeouts and take stuff away as we see needed. My 2 year old has timeouts too, and he thinks its funny and he will laugh in my face. He has now also started spitting inside the house and seems to spit when he is mad too. Another thing I noticed with him, is that sometimes he will cover his ears, as if some sound is bothering him. The TV isn't loud, or anything, nothing out of the ordinary going on. He does it in the shower too, and not only when his face gets wet. Is this a normal thing?
He is also supposed to be talking more than he does, I am starting to worry that not only was he delayed in crawling and walking, but now with talking too... I am not sure if there are any issues with him, developmentally and if so, I am not sure what it could be. Does his delayed walking/talking/crawling go hand in hand with his temper/anger and abuse? I am just really worried, and if anyone has any experience with any of these things, and advice on how to handle it and what else I could do, look for, read it would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you in advance!
COMMUNITY LEADER
I am sorry, I missed your response. The reason I asked my questions was that I saw some characteristics of a child with Sensory Processing Disorder. We have a forum on Medhelp run by Specialmom. She went through some very rough times with her little guy at about this age until they figured out what was going on. You might want to check out the forum and post to her here - http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Sensory-Integration-Disorder-SID/show/1396
Also this is a link to a site with lots of info on SPD.
http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-processing-disorder-checklist.html
The Hyposensitivity to touch (#2) was what caught my attention. If the SPD rings bells it really is worth posting to our site mentioned above. SPD is relatively new and many doctors still are not aware of it.
Please let me know what you think. It makes it easier to help other people with similar problems.
Also this is a link to a site with lots of info on SPD.
http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-processing-disorder-checklist.html
The Hyposensitivity to touch (#2) was what caught my attention. If the SPD rings bells it really is worth posting to our site mentioned above. SPD is relatively new and many doctors still are not aware of it.
Please let me know what you think. It makes it easier to help other people with similar problems.
U may wanna ask about aspergers or do some reasearch on that forum on here at medhelp
I can trim his nails, but its a fight. I have to hold him down between my legs to do it. He doesn't seem to be sensitive by clothing, at times with food, yes. He likes smelling things and licks everything to check texture. Even carpet and windows. He understands a lot, if I tell him "can you pick the blue block up and bring it to mommy" he does it, or can you go to mommy's bathroom so we can brush teeth" he does so, and I let him lead the way.
As for timeouts - I put him standing up, facing the wall with a 2 minute timer. If he tries to get away, the timer will get started over. The two minutes start when he is calm (per my counselor). After his timeout I tell him why he was in timeout and let him know what he did was not ok. I also give him a warning before putting him in timeout so that he knows that what he is doing is not okay and there will be consequences. We are firm and consistent with our children, we don't give into something one day and the next its discipline for the same thing.
I truly believe that his frustration comes from not being able to express fully what he wants or needs. Our children are happy and they know they are loved, we play with them and they all play with one another.
Thank you all for your reply!
As for timeouts - I put him standing up, facing the wall with a 2 minute timer. If he tries to get away, the timer will get started over. The two minutes start when he is calm (per my counselor). After his timeout I tell him why he was in timeout and let him know what he did was not ok. I also give him a warning before putting him in timeout so that he knows that what he is doing is not okay and there will be consequences. We are firm and consistent with our children, we don't give into something one day and the next its discipline for the same thing.
I truly believe that his frustration comes from not being able to express fully what he wants or needs. Our children are happy and they know they are loved, we play with them and they all play with one another.
Thank you all for your reply!
Wow reading this is exactly what I went through with son something simIlar around 2 years old. He banged his head against the walls,the floors, the crib. It got to the point he had a huge egg on his forehead and was always brusied in that one spot. He screamed and threw tantrums.He would hit me and tried biting me.
My son is now 4 and he was late starter at crawling and walking, and I can feel your pain. It's hard when you just don't know what to do or if there is something wrong.
In my sons case he was just frustrated and lashing out on everyone. He couldn't talk and when he tried we never could understand him. The hitting his head, all though it's hard to ignore,my sons doctor said to ignore it and not give him attention over it. Eventually he will realize " hey I'm hurting myself and not getting anything out of it." My son didn't stop till one day he hit his head so hard it started to bleed!
He still screams, and get frustrated at me. He just recently got tested and mentally ,he is great, smart as can be, tested in his age group but in speech he is delayed. He goes once a week to a speech therapist and it has helped cut back some of the anger. I don't blame him, it would get really aggravating repeating yourself so many times and know one understands you. I don't know if that's the case with your son but it does get better and I have gone through what you are dealing with. It's hard and can be concerning but I talking to your sons pediatrician to help ease your mind is best. Getting help with my sons speech I wish I would had done sooner than I did.
I wish you the best.
My son is now 4 and he was late starter at crawling and walking, and I can feel your pain. It's hard when you just don't know what to do or if there is something wrong.
In my sons case he was just frustrated and lashing out on everyone. He couldn't talk and when he tried we never could understand him. The hitting his head, all though it's hard to ignore,my sons doctor said to ignore it and not give him attention over it. Eventually he will realize " hey I'm hurting myself and not getting anything out of it." My son didn't stop till one day he hit his head so hard it started to bleed!
He still screams, and get frustrated at me. He just recently got tested and mentally ,he is great, smart as can be, tested in his age group but in speech he is delayed. He goes once a week to a speech therapist and it has helped cut back some of the anger. I don't blame him, it would get really aggravating repeating yourself so many times and know one understands you. I don't know if that's the case with your son but it does get better and I have gone through what you are dealing with. It's hard and can be concerning but I talking to your sons pediatrician to help ease your mind is best. Getting help with my sons speech I wish I would had done sooner than I did.
I wish you the best.
Your son requires firm and consistent discipline. This age is when kids explore and attempt to take control of their surroundings by testing limits.
I think that you need to take a look at how you conduct timeouts as this is by far the most effective way for this age group to change behavior. Like most things, there is a right and a wrong way to conduct timeouts. Most of the parents I worked with have heard of the term 'timeout' but never really knew how to effectively implement it. In your post, you did not describe your implementation.
Kids laughing at discipline is typically a method for them to manipulate by giving you the message that the discipline doesn't work in hopes that you will no longer implement it. Never heed to the manipulation. But instead, continue to stand firm by consistently discipling your son.
I think that you need to take a look at how you conduct timeouts as this is by far the most effective way for this age group to change behavior. Like most things, there is a right and a wrong way to conduct timeouts. Most of the parents I worked with have heard of the term 'timeout' but never really knew how to effectively implement it. In your post, you did not describe your implementation.
Kids laughing at discipline is typically a method for them to manipulate by giving you the message that the discipline doesn't work in hopes that you will no longer implement it. Never heed to the manipulation. But instead, continue to stand firm by consistently discipling your son.
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