Yelling at Dad

[Ruth340]

My six-year-old daughter yells at her father a lot.  They both have similar personalities, in that when they get frustrated or feel put-upon, they lash out quickly and loudly.  I usually have to rush to the scene and smooth things out.  This is getting old.  Any advice on how to quell her yelling, and help Dad deal with her on a calmer level?  I'm afraid they're developing a bad, unloving relationship.  She doesn't want to kiss him or sit on his lap.  This does not bode well for their future.


This discussion is related to Very Upset Six Year Old Girl.

[margypops]

I meant to type Problem and future sorry, my keyboard sometimes has its own mind.!

[newbuddha]

Does your daughter also yell at you? Why? Do you yell at your daughter?

[margypops]

This has to come from Dad she has learned this behavior , it is him who you could talk to and ask him to moderate his behavior then she will ,it is not her.,do not punish her he needs to adjust his attitude or seek help to do so. Your daughter will have a prro relationship in the futer if it continues. You need to get tough on them.

[Natta1980]

Dad needs to quit yelling. Period. Yelling at your daughter, you, or strangers in traffic. Just stop altogether. Learn ways to manage his mood. Does he have a mood disorder, by any chance?

That is exactly the reason why I sent my hubby to anger management. My son lashes out EXACTLY like dad, it is scary how similar they are. I had to threaten hubby with divorce though....For the longest time he claimed that it is my son/me who frustrate him, now finally he came to realization that he always was like that, even worse before we came into his life......I love him more than anything, and put up with his (husband's) tantrums for a while, and it took a toll on my son's behaviors. Big mistake. Could have been a lot easier for all of us.

While my son may have "inherited" my husband's mood disorder, most of his behaviors are learned from dad's.

You as a parent are obligated to give your daughter tools to deal with her frustrations. My husbands' parents did not put too much into teaching him to manage his frustrations, but rather concentrated on outward appearance of "happiness". I am determined to give my son tools to deal with life sooner rather than later, and dad's behaviors get in a way of this plan. Dad is a very powerful role model for my son.

Calming down will not happen till' dad quits yelling and sets a positive example. Think about it this way - dad has been around for a lot longer than your daughter, and still not able to manage himself......start with dad and daughter will follow

Good luck.....And it will be difficult as your hubby is likely to lash out on you for "blaming him", but hopefully he will realize that his reactions put your daughter in a "catch 22" situation. Let him read on "Positive discipline" - may halp as well


Good luck - I am sooo in the same boat with you:)

[91004]

It sounds like she learned it from her dad. once he can control his outburst and can learn a better way to deal with she will to. Maybe he should try counceling or anger management. A child will respond in the same manner you are teaching her. yell and she will.