abandoned

ok i know this is like for kids or whatever but even though im now 20 i still feel like this issue belongs here so here goes....


when i was 11 my mom left my dad for a woman.... it was hard on myself and my two sisters one older one younger. my dad was so angry  he took me and my sisters and moved us as far away from my mother as possible. when the custody hearing came about we all got to choose who we wanted to live with...me being daddy's little girl i stayed with him while my sisters went with my mom. in 1 year i was in a total of 8 schools. he would drop me off for bi weekend visits with my mother as the court had ordered but one weekend he dropped me off with nothing but the clothes on my back and two other outfits for the weekend. when sunday came and it was time for him to pick me up...he didnt show....he didnt come back not a letter not a call....nothing. it was impossible to get me into school so i was out for 3 months i had and still have issues making and keeping friends and boyfriends and i was mean and hateful...but i was hurt. finally after a year and a half he suddenly pops back into my life so i gave him a second chance...and he did it again i was so angry with him and still am i see him ocassinoly but he wont look me in the eyes when he talks to me if he talks at all he refuses to talk about why he abandoned me  he bad mouths my mother in front of me. i just want to know why after all these years i still feel so much anger and hate and confusion. i dont know how to talk to him and to be honest i miss my dad even though he wasnt a great dad i was daddy's little girl and i just dont understand how he could just do that to me. i just want to know how to get through this so it doesnt affect my life anymore please help.

[RockRose]

You really need this book.  This will ALWAYS affect your life,  but you can help mitigate the damage.

It's in every bookstore.    It will help you.  I promise.

http://www.amazon.com/Bad-Childhood-Good-Life-Blossom-Childhood/dp/B000TYFV5G/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1203258798&sr=8-1