adhd or just being a boy?

[mamaof4boyz]

My six year old son is extremly hyper. Does not listen at home or at school. He has a lot if friends and is very friendly to anyone he meets. His teachers all love him and say he is very polite but he has gotten into a lot of trouble in school. Getting sent to the principals office,making his teacher cry on the last day of school because she herself does not understand why he does some of the things he does. My husband and i are getting frustrated because we have tried every type of punishment and nothing seems to b working. Seems it is getting worse and worse. Not sure what else to do from here with him without having to put him on meds. I really really do not believe in all that.

[Sandman2]

   You don't want the school psychologist talking to him.   You do want the school psyc testing him for ADHD or a mental health professional of your own choice doing the testing.

[mamaof4boyz]

He gets plenty of sleep. He also missed recess and field trips because the furst uncident at school was he had gine and hid from his teacher and they had to lock down the entire school and look for him. He has done this 4 times. He also threw class toys out the classroom window into the playground area when it was raining wuch ruined a few of the toys. Then he smashed playdough into the carpet area of the classroom. He has gotten letters sent home from the principal and teachers because he can not sit still and constantly is chatting with the other kids in class while the teacher is talking. Taking his field trip priviledge away was the only other thing his teacher and i could come up with. She herself has sat him down and talked with him and she daud he had absoloutly no remorse for the things he has done. I will be checking into having the school phsycologist talk with him as well.

[Sandman2]

    Geeze, the last thing a kid who might have ADHD needs is to be made to miss recess.   The most important thing about discipline is for it to be immediate and short.  Taking away field trips, being grounded, etc. are usually not very effective for those reasons.   The links I last sent should give you some better ideas.  And do share them with his teacher next year.
    How is he doing sleep wise?  At his age it is super  important to get sleep as it will make his symptoms much worse if he is not getting enough sleep.
    Oh, and you have probably figured this out by now - but if he does have ADHD and your other 3 boys do not - the way you disciplined the other 3 simply won't work with a kid with ADHD.

[MarkLakewood3367]

All kids are different and may respond to discipline differently or may require a different type of discipline.  In this case, I would strongly recommend that you consult with a mental health professional for proper recommendations and treatment.

[mamaof4boyz]

I have 4 boys and have raised them all the same way as in the discipline area and none of the other 3 have ever acted the way my 6 year old is acting. And it has been goung on for about 2 years. We have put him in time out,taken things away from him fir a period of time,grounded him,and i stay in very close contact with his teacher. She has also had to discipline him by taking away field trips,playtime indoors and out,he has had to stand agaunst the wall at recess free time. She says that she has seen this in her other students that have adhd and to have him looked at. I have and they have me trying a different diet and other little things to see if it helps. So far nothing. And we are extremly consistant but it is hard to keep him in line.

[Sandman2]

    Mark certainly has a good point about meeting the criteria for ADHD.   An important part of the DSM 5 criteria is that the symptoms have lasted for at least 6 months and that they occur in at least two places.   Besides reading Marks excellent link, you might also want to check this one out.
           http://helpguide.org/mental/adhd_add_diagnosis.htm
    The fact that a 6 year old is being sent to the Principals office and that he has had his teacher in tears would suggest that the discipline that the school has been trying is also not effective.
    I do think that it is time to get him evaluated by a mental health professional.   If he does have ADHD there are many non-medical things that can be done by both you and the school.  
     School wise a 504 plan will become very important.  I can get you more information on that if it is needed.
      On the ADHD forum - http://www.medhelp.org/forums/ADD---ADHD/show/175    - where I am also the CL I recently posted some links on discipline, etc (and I have many more) which you might find helpful.
     http://www.addresources.org/node/2014
     http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1879.html
     http://www.additudemag.com/slideshow/88/slide-1.html?utm_source=eletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=June
     Hope this helps.  Please post here or over on the ADHD forum if you have any more questions.  Best wishes.

[MarkLakewood3367]

Unless your son meets the AHD criteria, http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/diagnosis.html, he doesn't have ADHD.  The behaviors you described makes me believe that the issues are more disciplinary than ADHD.  Before having him diagnosed and on meds, my recommendation is to look at the overall discipline.  Consistency is very important and timeouts are very effective for this age group.  My recommendations for you would be to either:

1.  Tell us exactly how you are disciplining him so that we may offer you some suggestions, and/or
2.  Have your son evaluated by a mental health professional and work with that therapist in terms of appropriate discipline.

Please be cautious of any professional who is immediately willing to diagnose your son with ADHD and place him on meds, especially without undergoing the appropriate testing.  Too many kids have been wrongly diagnosed with ADHD and are on meds unnecessarily.  Your son MUST meet the ADHD criteria to the tee, otherwise he doesn't have it.