adolescent boy defecating himself

My nephew is 13 and still often poops his pants. He claims he's getting caught up in his video game and forgets to go until it's too late. Sometimes he urinates too. His Dad has had him in therapy for a few years and says that he has had this behavior since he was young and was difficult and late in potty training. He lost his mother suddenly when he was 8, but according to my brother (his Dad) they had a lot of difficulty with him before this with pooping his pants and other behaviors. My sister and I even noticed that he was a very odd child when he was a toddler and we both wondered if he might have some form of Autism or Asbergers.  He's a very smart bright child. He was at our house on vacation for a month and I discovered he was still defecating himself when I did laundry. I sat down with him to talk about it in a loving concerned manner. I suggested that we see a doctor in case there was a medical reason as to why this was happening.  He was adamant that he didn't want to see a doctor and that he had full control of his bowels.  He explained that he had just been "too lazy to go" because he was in the middle of his video game (Lord of the Rings Online) and assured me that it wouldn't happen again and apologized. I told him that if it happened again there would be no more video games for the rest of his time with us. It did happen several more times but he hid it by hiding his dirty underwear (he used to do this also at home by hiding them in the heating vents and other places around the house). I realized this just before he was leaving when I went to do his laundry and noticed that he had very little underwear to wash and asked him where it was. He told me the truth, and I followed through with the video game ban.  I want to make it clear too, that while he was here we did a lot of activities, I didn't just let him sit around and play video games all the time.  But he is a very lazy child, my brother has much difficulty getting him to help out and he struggles as a single parent. I had trouble just getting him to brush his own teeth (he has braces now) and had to constantly remind him. We had a couple conflicts as well with him having a bad attitude. He felt like he was very "put upon" to do things during his stay with me. When I asked him if he could give me an example of something I'd asked him to do that was especially burdonsome his response was that I'd asked him to get the ketchup out of the refridgerator.

[Auntiecares]

I realize I didn't post a question, sorry..  I'm just wondering if anyone knows anything about this behavior or has had a similar experience or any advice that may help.  Thank you!

[twinmom3002]

Have you tried or suggested diapers? Perhaps the embarressment factor would help resolve this and if it worsens you have solid evidence (pardon the pun) to convince your brother to seek medical assistance.
twinmom3002

[althepal39]

Oh my God -do not put this poor kid in diapers.  He probably has encropesis.  He needs a good doctor.   Don't punish him for this.  Look up this disorder on Google.  

[Auntiecares]

OMGoodness!  thank you so much!  I was hoping there might be a name for it. I passed the info on to my brother and suggested he have my nephew seen by a gastroenterologist to be evaluated for this!  As for the diapers suggestion, my other brother had our nephew for a few weeks at his house a couple summers ago and he bought some depends for him as some sort of option but I don't think he was made to use them.  The odd thing is that my nephew does not seem to be that embarrassed by it (although he may be hiding that too) and he seems to have few or no accidents when he's not playing video games. I appreciate all of your feedback and now I hope my brother follows up with a doctors visit. I think it will be helpful to him that there is a name for what's happening to my nephew!  Thank you!!!!