aggressive three year old

[gcplap]

My almost three year old is very aggressive (hitting, biting, throwing objects) and is very impulsive.  He takes his aggression out usually on his one year old sister.  We don't know what to do we try time outs, taking him to his room and restraining him.  He is developmentally delayed and his speech is delayed.  I know he has a hard time communicating and gets frustrated, but it has gotten to the point that he will be aggressive for no reason (his sister might just crawl by him and he will slap at her.  I don't know if he is doing it for attention b/c I honestly think he enjoys the negative attention.  He refuses to share if his sister or another kid will be playing with a toy he automatically will go over and take it even if he doesn't want to play with it.  He does have a very short attention span.  I have asked his therapists about a wraparound program, but they seem to think that he isn't the "typical" canidate for it.  I am also worried b/c he is starting a specialized preschool very soon (when he turns three) and I don't want him being aggressive with the other children.  He went through this stage when his sister was first born, but eventually stopped.  It seems the more we try to correct his behavior the worst it gets.  We don't want to ignore it.  I have thought about adhad, but I don't know if he is to young.  He is a very sweet boy and isn't always like this.  We are getting him evaluated with child development at a large childrens hospital in a few months.  In the mean time we could use all the suggestions we can get.  We are very concered and frustrated.  It is to

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Your plan for evaluation is sound. Depending on the degree of developmental delay, pharmacological treatment will assume more or less of a priority on the spectrum of interventions. You won't go wrong by implementing time out immediately when any aggressive gesture occurs. And youd be doing this even if medication is added to the plan. Generally such children are not engaging in such behavior for purposes of gaining attention - they simply have little tolerance for any irritant or any obstacle to their wishes and strike out in frustration and anger. To some extent you'll see this even in normal three-year-olds, and even more if the child has particular developmental problems.