agressive 3.5 year old boy

[fatherof2892]

my 3.5 year old son has become more agressive( pushing, yelling, not listening, never wants to share) over the last 6 months ever since our 2nd boy was born.

he is going to see a child pysch. who told me this is normal behavoir with some children and will work its way out. I have my doubts only becuase he seems to have some ticks, some signs of add/adhd.
1) why when told say 1 minute before to stop a bad behavoir does he do it over and over ?

2) is their a corelation between what he does to his younger brother and sometimes to kids on playdates?


3) most importantly should i give my 3.5 year old less atttention? when he acts  out and focus more on my 1 year old

thanks

      

[fatherof2892]

he is also not potty trained which has been extremely frustrating. Atr this point we have just back offed . It has made things less stressful but also painful when he poops. he has gone back to at least telling us when he does poop, which i think is some progress.

[AnnieBrooke]

I'd give the 3.5 year old more attention, not less, in general.  Less when he is acting out (unless he is in danger of hurting the other child) but a lot more, when he is being friendly, kind, or just "neutral."  An only child gets a lot of attention, some for just existing.  The new child is now around and taking away your attention (and everyone else's, too -- babies are cute), and he doubtless misses the times he had before, when he didn't need to even wonder for one second if you still think he's cool and love him as much as previously.  This can manifest in negative behavior because the behaviors he was doing before (especially the ones that weren't particularly special) are not getting him the attention he used to get just for existing.