anger in child

I have a 3 1/2 yr old daughter who is extremly mean. Mostly to her 1 1/2 yr old cousin who lives with me and his mom and dad. She is constantly pushing, hitting and doing whatever she can to hurt him. If he has anything she has to take it from him. She is double his size. he adores her and when I ask if she feels bad for hurting him she says no, which has me deeply disturbd. She has other children that she plays with that are older than her and she is fine with. But the other day she tripped her dad and I asked didnt she feel bad and she said no. I will even catch herhitting and kicking the cats. She is also very difant. I have no authority and nothing I do will get her to listen to me. Ive done time out and have spent a year in our room to seperate her form her cousin, sense they can be playing fine one min and the next she is doing something mean to him. I have tried to spank her and she just laughs at me sense i dont have the heart to hit her hard. I cant even get her to stay in her car seat, only when her dad is in the car will she be in it. I am scared that she is going to hurt another child she she has said she doesnt feel bad when she hurts someone. is this a phase, will there ever be a time she will stop, is she deeply sick mentally? im terrified.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You should arrange an evaluation for her with a pediatric behavioral health clinician. At the very least you need help in managing the behavior. The possibility of her behavior signifying emotional disturbance (vs normal-spectrum child behavior problem) needs to be considered.