angry/aggressive only at home

I have a 6 year old son who has always been "high maintenance".  We walk on egg shells all the time because you never know what might set him off.  From the simplest things such as forgetting a toy at home or not being able to find something that he's looking for right away.  He will start screaming, crying and literally have a temper tantrum.  When we try to dicipline with with a time out for his behavior, it escalates.  He is disrespectful and will say he hates us and we are mean.  He will throw, hit, etc.  He will not stay in a time out, so our ped recommended the "time out room".  We cleared a large walk in closet and turned the lock around and would put him in there for 20 minutes (dr. recommendations).  It works well, he kicks and screams and gets all his anger out, by the end of 20 mintues he apologizes and is calm.  Even if I see him take his sister's toy and I ask him to give it back to her, he gets mad.  he may tell his sister he hates her.  So calmly i'll tell him to go to time out (regular) and he'll say no.  Then it keep escaliting from there, until we end up in the time out room again.  He doesn't take punishment at all without a massive fight.  We have always struggled with him since the day he was born just being a strong willed, determined personality.  i understand that's part of him, but I don't know how to handle him or dicipline him as nothing seems to work.  I know the scenes aren't good for his sister to watch etiher.  And last but not least, he is an angel at day care and school.  Other adults say hes great and they never have a problem with him.  HELP!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

At the very least your son is showing developmental immaturity in his ability to manage frustration and the anger that comes with it. Impulse control will improve as he experiences a systematic behavior management program and the peditraician's guidance is on target. You might benefit from Lynn Clark's SOS Help for Parents (see www.sosprograms.com).

[Lorayoung]

One more thing, when he isn't mad about anything he is so lovable and playful and a fun guy.  He almost refuses to sit anywhere but in your lap!  He loves to snuggle and will constantly say he loves us....