autism?? or normal toddler

[jenny49]

My daughter is 18months old She is very affectionate,lots of hug and kisses. She is good with pretend play. Feeds her doll, rocks her, pats her back. She pretends to play with toy kitchen. She pretends to wash her hair or our hair. Follows directions good. She will through trash out if I ask her. Get her shoes or toy or whatever i ask her to get. She points things out in books. She loves to look at photos of family. She waves at everyone, she feeds herself with a fork and spoon and has good sleep habits. She communicates what she wants by pointing, nodding her head yes and no and signs for milk
But she has many odd behaviors, She does not talk. she uses dada and daddy alot but we only hear "this is" yes, ya and mama sporatically. She does babble alot but also repetitively. She started walking at 11 months and the same week used 6-7 words then stopped. Over the last 8 months we had heard many words over and over then she stops and we never hear them again. she has good eye contact.
She also shuffles her feet in a silly way. it appears that she extends her fingers or hands so her fingers are spread out. She actually started arm flapping today which I am very upset about. And 2 days ago she started plugging her ears. It does seems she is just listing to the different sound but it is still odd. she sometimes runs on her toes. She is constantly taking objects out of their box like crayons and putting them back. We played out side today and she had 5 balls that she kept throwing in her little pool and them taking them back out. over and over she makes weird noises over and over. Right now when she gets excited she laughs but makes this strange asmatic sound over and over. shakes her head side to side when she is just walking around. She claps alot but i feel like i encouraged that because i clap at everything she does. She is easily frusterated, She does not seem to want to try and speak. she acts annoyed by me when i encourage her to speak or "learn" thinks like ABCs or numbers.
I know I may just be over reacting but i feel like I am an educated. I read alot and i also graduated from nursing school with my RN. I know early intervention is important. I cant help but to worry with Autism stats at 1 in 166. I know the ratio is 4-1 for boys but it still happens to girls.are diagnosed . I know this is long so I will stop here. Is it possible that a child with lots of affection , good communication(minus speaking words) and good socialization could still be on the spectrum due to the odd behaviors???
Any advice or comments would be greatly apperciated even if they are negative. Please be honest.

[mom2-2ts]

Hi there,
  I know first hand what a difficult thing it is to even be thinking about autism, but you are right, early interventio is key so first and foremost, let's try to figure out what is going on.  It is a common misconception that autistic children are very cold, non-affectionate, can't be touched, etc.  My pediatrician actually told my husband and I when we took her in to talk about the possibility of autism, that there was no way she could be autistic, "she is way to affectionate and cuddly".  He then said that he'd bet his practice on it, I should be a rich girl right now.  
My point is, the most important thing you can do is go to someone for help who deals with this kind of a disorder regularly.  Most states and counties offer regional center services where you can call in and explain a bit about the situation and they can send someone to your home to do a preliminary evaluation.  You can also call your local school district SELPA (Special Education Local Plan Area) and they can direct you to where you can get these services.  
  Here is the really good news.  Because your daughter does pretend play, she does show affection, she likes to be around others, understands language well, whether or not she's actually speaking, shows that if she does have autism, she is probably in a more mild-moderate range.  Remember, autism is a spectrum, where as one kid may be sitting in a corner banging their head and totally isolated, another may be like my daughter who was diagnosed 1 year, 4 months ago (she's 3 1/2 now) and noone would ever know that she was diagnosed.  Read my post titled Great news for my daughter with autism.  
Be strong and brave and do what you have to do to find out what is going on with her.  If you do get the diagnosis, come back to me and we'll talk.  I have coached many parents through this process, including working with them on many of the easy interventions that you can start doing now at home.  Good luck and keep your head up.  Remember, we are the voices for our children, we have the power to change their worlds.

[mom2-2ts]

I should probably point out my level of expertise on this subject, I am a psychotherapist who works mainly with children, I am a Behavioral Intervention Case Manager for my local SELPA, as well as the proud mama of two wonderful kids, one with ADD, one with autism.  

[jenny49]

thank-you so much for  responding to me. I am having a really hard time with this right now. I live in canada, we will be moving to albany new york short term. There are waiting list here for evaluations(2 months)  I will call my local SELPA when we get there. My daughter is american and my husband works there. I cant sleep, I cant stop thinking about this. Thank-you for your positive words

[mom2-2ts]

I want to make a suggestion to you...there is a diet called the GFCF diet, or Gluten Free Casein Free (no wheat and no milk or whey).  This is the most common diet to put children with autism on.  No matter if your child is fine or not, I have to say it is incredibly healthy.  Within two weeks of my daughter being put on it we saw a huge change in speech and her overall eye contact.  It is something to be strict on, even a little bit of either wheat or milk can alter these behaviors, but of all of the parents that I have talked to, the children who recovered from autism, or have made huge strides, had put their children on this diet.  Please look it up at www.gfcfdiet.com  It is difficult, but why not start doing something that can help now.  Waiting two months is a long time, in all honestly we were told that we would be waiting 3-4 months in our area for an eval.  We found out who the accepted psychologist was to do the evaluation and paid him out of pocket ($1300).  By the time the 3 month mark came around our daughter had over 75 words and was actually making great improvements.  Good luck Good luck Good luck.  We will pray for you in this difficult time, but know that it can get better.

[jenny49]

I have been concidering that diet, thanks for the link. I also found a psycholigst to do an evaluation for $1700 but he is the only one in my area. Also he does deal with autistic children just not regularly and not usually this young. I made an appt with him for next week but I jsut dont know if i would trust his DX if he said she was fine because he does not see them this young

[mom2-2ts]

Hi Jenny,

  Before you go to this appointment you should ask the psych if they have any experience with early dx.  The testing typically takes between 2-5 hours depending on the compliance of your daughter.  If you don't mind the driving, don't limit yourself to just your area.  We live in a very rural area and wound up driving almost 3 hours to see the psych suggested to us, and it was well worth it, he absolutely knew what he was talking about.  Also, you need to be aware that there are many different areas of specialization within psychology, when you say that he works with children with autism that doesn't really tell you enough.  You are going to him for dx and assessment, not continuing care, so you need to specifically ask him his experience in dx, and testing of very young children with disabilities.  He may work with autistic children but he may be helping with interventions and not doing much testing.  I can't stress how important it is to not get a false negative because at this point your daughter has so much potential and opportunity for growth, that diminishes by the month.  I don't want to scare you, just lead you towards the best options so that you can do the best you can right away.  
  Also realize that autism is usually a interaction of genetics and environment.  Even though you don't have a dx you can still start making sure she is getting plenty of vitamins, switching to organic foods to reduce sensitivity to pestacides, other chemicals etc.  
I will post my email on my account so that you can send me your mailing address.  I actually brought a pediatrician who specializes in autism only to my local area for a seminar.  I have the DVD of it and would love to send you a copy if you're interested.  It can give you a lot more hope and insight into what you might be dealing with.  
Last thing, tx for autism is symptom specific.  With or without a dx your child has specific needs that can be worked with in speech therapy, occupational therapy and even using some of the behavioral therapy used for these symptoms.  Get your regular MD to refer you to these services because your daughter may need them whether or not autism is present.
As always, good luck, ask me for anything you need, I'll do my best to help.

[tsnowe123]

Jenny, do not let doctors diagnos your child. Children and adults are often missdiagnosed and put on meds...OUTRAGES!!!!! I have 3 children, my 9 yr old sounds just like your child when he was that age. He is now an honor student in school. I'm not saying it's bad to be concerned, but she is too young. If she turns 7, is in school and the school says there might be a problem, then seek a medical evaluation. Children are all different, and your child is acting normal. Maybe not to EVERYONES standards, but like I said, I went threw the EXACT the SAME thing, and he turned out just fine... with much love , tsnowe123

[tsnowe123]

Teko, I once again completely agree with you :)

[mom2-2ts]

I do not know how much you are aware of when it comes to autism.  It is common knowledge within the autism community (anyone with a child with autism, pediatricians, autism researchers, etc.) that early diagnosis and intervention is the key.  No, children are not often misdiagnosed with autism, typically they are misdiagnosed as not having autism, and then the doctor's realize they made a mistake 2-3 years later.  Also, medications for autism are not the norm.  Meds are used for things like children who have autism which has resulted in a seizure disorder, behaviors which cause them to hurt themselves, like severe headbanging which can lead to head trauma.  Please, please, if you are just posting because you want to add your two sense in, but do not know about autism, do not give information that you "believe" to be true because of your own child who is not autistic.  I am glad that your child had these same kinds of symptoms and grew out of it, Jenny's daughter may do the same, but because of what the symptoms are, it is important that they get checked out.  If she is dealing with autism, shouldn't she give her daughter a fighting chance?
  If any parent waits until their child is 7 the possibility of any reversal of symptoms is very slim.  One of the keys in autism is that the brain does not make connections properly and needs to actually be trained to do so with things like Applied Behavioral Analysis therapy.  If therapy started sooner then more pathways are able to be retrained and she can lead a very normal life.  If it is not diagnosed until age 7 then these neuropathways are set and very, very hard to change.  That child would be stuck in the autism world without having much of a fighting chance.

Please do not think of autism like ADD or ODD, etc.  They are very different in the way that they present themselves in that with autism a child can be stuck in their own mind, who would ever not want to give their child every opportunity to reach whatever potential they could so that they could have as happy and normal of a life as possible?  I would encourage you to look at some of the autism websites, like Autismspeaks.org or the autismresearchinstitute to gain a little more insight.  Respectfully, mom2-2ts

[tsnowe123]

My brother, my uncle, my niece and nephew all have autism, it has run in my family for many years, and yes, my niece was treated late, but not too late. I do agree with early evaluation, but what this parent is going through, does not have many syptoms (symptoms) of autism.  I have done extensive research, in fact autismresearchinstitute, is in my favorites, and I have had many discussions with Dr. Shaw and Dr. Kurt Woeller, in CA to add to the research to know mor about this, to be prepared if my children would be born with it. So, no, it's not just my "2 cence", thank you

[tsnowe123]

PS Dr. Shaw and Dr. Kurt Woeller are VERY reputable, in CA.

[jenny49]

Thank-you so much to everyone for your advice. Its nice to see other parents who take the time to respond to a complete stranger. I have many family members including my husband who are telling me that I am overreacting. And i really hope that they are right, but for some reason since the day my daughter was born I have had a feeling that there was going to be something wrong. Maybe I am crazy but i dont want to ignore my instincts and risk my daughters future development. She is my life and I would do anything for her just like any other parent would do for their child.
She is at an age that many of these behaviours may be her way of do silly toddler things but she is also at an age that she would greatly benifit from early intervention from if there is something wrong.

[tsnowe123]

You know, motherly instinct: My mother swore something was just not right with my brother at birth.. just looking at his feet. For years she would get no responce from pediatricians. She really just couldn't get the feeling to go away.When he was 6 he was diagnosed with C.P. Not severe, but it does have a lot of effects... GO with your instinct!

[mom2-2ts]

I appreciate that you have so much experience in dealing with autism.  It is just surprising to me that someone with such a background in dealing with it would suggest to someone that they wait until their child was age 7 before they look to seek out help.  As I said before, I am not saying that her daughter has autism, just that there are characteristics that should be checked out.  Do other kids who are "normal" have some of these characteristics, yes, but typically not all in combination of each other.  I just ask that you do not ask a parent to delay looking at a condition because of a child growing out of it, this can be detrimental to a child's future well-being.  I am sure that if you asked Dr. Shaw or Dr. Woeller that they would agree and say the same thing, never to wait, especially to until that late in a child's development.  There is also autism on the spectrum that is degenerative, meaning that it gets more severe over time, not better.  
  It sounds that you have a vast amount of experience in dealing with autism within your extended family.  However, I would like to point something out that I have had the opportunity to deal with in a more close fashion working with families in a therapeutic setting.  If you talk to an experienced therapist they will tell you that whenever you deal with somebody you will never have all of the information you need.  They might omit something important because they are unaware that it matters, they may be ashamed of something and hide it, or they may flat out lie for whatever personal reason.  Knowing that, it is really not a good idea to not play it on the safe side when concerns such as these come up.  Unfortunately, while both you and I know something about this case, I guarantee neither of us have enough information to say don't worry, or your daugher definitel has autism.  So I feel we have to say, because of your concerns and because of the possibility go to an experienced professional to fully evaluate.  Jenny, I am certainly not saying that you are purposefully omitting information, I just know that with my own daughter I saw so many great qualities that it was really hard for me to notice those little quirks that I later realized were autistic tendencies.  When the evaluating psychologist was asking me questions about her eye contact and such I remember saying a lot of "yeah, but...'s" Well, but she only does that when she's uncomfortable...my husband sat by my side and held my hand and said "honey, she does that with you sometimes, but not with anyone else".  
All parents want to see the best in their child, most parents have their child's best interests at heart.  That can manifest itself in becoming overprotective and alarmist, or loving them so unconditionally that they downplay what may truly be going on for their child for fear that others will see them as not loving their child as much because of some deficit they may have.  We were actually asked by a friend of a friend why we would get our daughter evaluated at such a young age.  The biggest thing was that she was very affectionate with me and laughed often, but was extremely aloof when it came to her father and brother and basically everyone else.  Most people don't realize that some children with autism are actually very affectionate and clingy to one or two people so they completely disregard that autism could even be possible.  That subgroup is often under treated and under diagnosed.
So this person saw our daughter and said Didn't we love her enough to just accept her as she is?  The fact of the matter is that we love her so much that we want to give her every opportunity to have a healthy, normal social life, if that is possible.  I work within special education and work with older autistic children on a daily basis and see that many of them are sad because they want to be part of the "group" but do not know how to assert themselves enough to involve themselves in a way that makes the kids not ostricize them.  It is heartbreaking, and I want to give my daughter any tools that she may need to be as much or as little part of a group as she wants to be, but let it be her choice, not a disability that is keeping her from participating.

[luvmykids2]

Really, isn't EVERY "normal" toddler/pre-school behavior a red-flag for autism?  What really upsets me is that most children do some really silly silly things.  As long as their behavior isn't disruptive to themselves or to others why can't we let them be silly?  Why do we have to label everything they do?

Now, I agree, if it has you up at night, check it out.  But other than that it seems to me that your daughter is just fine.  No, I am no expert.  "Just" a mom.   Good luck to you.