hi, i want to say sorry in advance as this will be long! i have alot of concerns regarding my 6 year old son. he was a very good, content, quiet baby, learning instructions and the meaning of 'no' very quickly and meeting all his milestones at the correct age, as far as i can remember. then when he was around 2 years old his behaviour started going downhill-normal stuff like smearing feaces on everything, not doing as he was told etc....i wasnt too concerned other than it was a big change to his usual behaviour. as he got older he started biting, chewing and destroying everything in sight-and i mean EVERYTHING. he headbanged from the time he could crawl and by the time he was 2 he was 'rocking and rolling'(he is on the floor/bed and it looks like he is going to do a tippletail, but as the back of his shoulders touches the floor/bed he comes back-so its forward and back again and again). he got sooo frustrated if anything went wrong(like a stack of bricks toppling over) or if he 'lost' at a game, and would refuse to do it again, almost like he had a grudge against it. he has always been extremely clumsy, and is bound to crash into 6 different objects before he finally hits the floor when he trips. he is constantly walking into things and cant run in a straight line as he keeps tripping over his own feet. he was completely toilet trained(day and night) by the time he was 4, then one day he woke up and just wasnt anymore-also he seemed to have 'forgotten' how to open a crisp bag by himself, and he regressed in dressing himself etc....there are tonnes of other things but i cant write them all down now. i arent one for making a fuss so didnt take him to the doctor until he was almost 5 when i just couldnt cope anymore. he has broken 1 cot and 3 SOLID WOODEN beds so far and at that point i just put his mattress on the floor and he didnt have a bedframe as i couldnt afford to keep replacing them. he attended nursery for a year and a half and they never said there was any problems, although sometimes they would laugh things off-('haha he actually ate a SPONGE today! haha') , and when he left nursery and i got his red folder there were alot of comments in it like 'O didnt seem to hear me when i asked him repeatedly to do so and so' so maybe they just didnt mention anything. he started school at age 5, within 3 days they had sent him to the school psychologist(she said maybe aspergers, maybe mild autism) and within 2 months they were sending him home daily. after 3 months i deregistered him and began home schooling as i felt the school were terribly unsupportive. he recently began touching himself in front of his siblings, and last friday he actually touched his 4 year old brothers privates. i am very concerned about this. he doesnt have alot of rules but those he does have, he HAS to stick to and we stick to disciplining him if he breaks them, but it never stops him doing it again. he kisses and hugs complete strangers and is very easily distracted. he is very bright and is actually doing math/english for age 8-10, he is very interested in the universe and has taught himself all about wormholes, timetravel,etc...and he can recite a whole conversation from memory months after he heard it-FANTASTIC memory.he talks very monotone, and i know when he is lying because thats the only time he puts any emotion into his voice. he is always reciting phrases he heard on tv/radio, putting them into conversations completely out of context. people have said he is going through a phase, but i have other kids so i know what a phase is. if any of this is a phase then he is going through hundreds of phases that never end. he does the exact same naughty thing a dozen times a day, every day. people have blamed his behaviour on everything from 'you moved house' to 'you had another child' and now of course its 'he is home educated'-although this all started at 2(before any life change at all) and he acted exactly the same way in public school- no one has considered for a second that something may actually be 'wrong'. i am so exhausted, i feel completely trapped. does anyone have any suggestions on whats going on? now that ive wrote this and read through it, i KNOW there is something-i just doubt myself so much because no one is listening! still, any suggestions will be super helpful and thanks if you actually made it to the end of this!
So at age 5 you got some form of professional help. It was suggested that your child might have some form of mild autism. Its kind of sad because IF it was that, the sooner autism is addressed, the better the chances for the child. And yes, while some of the things he does seem kind of normal for a child of that age, there are others that do sound like a form of autism.
But whatever, you are at a spot where you don't know what to do (and have been at that place for awhile). Its time to get help! Professional help!
There are good books on child discipline like "Love and Logic" by Fay and Cline or "Raising Lions by Joe Newman which might be helpful, but you may be past that point. Find a good child pysc. and listen to them. Unless something changes, he will only get worse. Good Luck!
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