awkward mother son relationship

I have been seeing my girlfriend for about a year now. We do have a bit of an age difference where she is over 10 years older than me. Her son is 13 and I just can't help but to think how awkwardly affectionate they are. I understand that she is all he's had and that she most likely uses him as a constant for affection. I find it odd that he constantly needs to be close to her even out in public. It just seems that most boys or teens would be mortified to be seen holding hands with their mother let alone initiate it. I have addressed how they held hands at a store and didn't even. Realize it. It seems that there is some sort of separation issue because she is his best friend. He rarely hangs out with friends and leaves the house.  We all get along very well and when her and I are sitting close or cuddling he has no reservations to come in and lay close to us. I am however very uncomfortable with it and do.t want to over step my boundries but won't be able to continue with this behaviour. Any advise.

[margypops]

If you feel this uncomfortable about the son I would say get out of the relationship as its not going to work, if they want to hold hands because they are an affectionate family its okay but if you are this uncomfortable with it, best let it go .Many families are affectionate adults hold hands a lot ,possibly it didn't happen in your family and you are not used to it.I see many families that are adults with arms around each other, hugging Latin families are particularly affectionate .Maybe time to move on. Good luck

[adgal]

Regardless of whether or not the affection is normal isn't really the point.  Personally, I think it's great they are so close, but do think the child should also be interacting socially with other kids.  That being said, this is something for the two of them to sort through and I don't think there is much you can do or say.  It would be, as you said, overstepping boundaries.  Best of luck to you.

[specialmom]

I agree with the above posts. As the mother of boys, I don't know when the time will come that they want to be less affectionate with me but would not really want an outsider to that parent relationship suggesting it before he or I was ready.  

Holding hands shouldn't make you feel awkward as it is really innocent.  It does show they are close and perhaps having another male that has the number one place in her heart makes you uncomfortable on some level.  

I am thinking that it is time to move on.  My guess she will resent you making her feel odd or the insinuation that her son is odd for their closeness.  

It is healthy to identify something that is going to cause continuous conflict in a relationship and to move on.  Good luck.

[eekhelp]

Thank you for the insight. I just have trouble comprehending how in one years time I've seen him go outside to play or stay over at friends house twice and can only count a handful of times where he has had friends over and only. I believe that may give more of an insight on where they are at. He is just socially awkward where friends are few and far between and talking to others especially males are not his strong point. I know because if older males are around he has asked me to come in the room with him or he will follow his mom around. The more I think about it the more I think that the mom needs to make him more assertative and to go out and make mistakes and learn from them. It's almost as if he doesn't know how to do something he freaks out and cries. I think you all may be right that this is not going to work but I feel bad for the kid and don't want him to be helpless in the world.  

[margypops]

well I guess he and his mom will work it out for them selves , did you take him to play ball games and outside fun , were you part of activities and board games being the guy in his life ?