bed time

So if I do a bedtime ritual and tuck him in etc- no tv nite light kisses , and he cries calls me screams etc and I know he is ok and does not have to pee or anything do I let him cry even if he stands at the gate, or should I put him in his bed?  He sometimes would rather sleep on the floor.  I just want to do what is best for him, and I hate hearing him cry.  

[jrs15]

So I should do his bedtime ritual tuck him in and let him cry?  Is tv ok to leave on  since it has been that way for a while?  

[888mom]

I have heard that TV stimulates children if they are watching it causing problems to go to sleep.  Ditto with adults.  I used to watch TV late at night and then wonder why I'd lay in bed awake not able to sleep.  I cut out the TV, seemed to fix that problem.  Not true for everyone, but true for some.

When my daughter was 18 months, we put her in crib and let her cry.  Pediatrician told us to do that.  First night she cried about 40 minutes.  I peeked in every 15 minutes just to make sure she wasn't trying to hurt herself and that she was okay.  Next night it was about half an hour.  Within a week it was down to 5 minutes and the next week it was down to 1 minute.  You have to learn to tell the difference between cries of something is totally wrong and whines that mean nothing is wrong except they aren't getting what they want.  It was hard for me to do this.  My friend told me she did this too, and advised me to take a shower.  The shower will help drown out the whines, as long as you have a spouse/significant other to listen for your child to make sure everything is fine.  Dads tend to do better at ignoring cries if they are just whining.  If you are single mom or on your own at night for the bedtime ritual, my hats off to you, you just going to have to figure out ways to listen for cries but try not to go in.  Sounds like your son is older and in a bed, not a crib.  If he's older, maybe you can take a shower if you're on your own anyways, if he's old enough not to worry about him getting in to trouble in the room.  Trust me, showers do wonders to drown out whines and cries.  My sister has a son who doesn't like to go to sleep.  She has removed most of toys from his room except a couple books, so if he doesn't sleep he doesn't have a lot to play with to keep him awake.  I do not agree with her locking him in the room (she reversed the locks so it locks from the outside which is a really bad fire hazard!!).  If he's young enough not to figure out those tot lock things you put on top of the door knobs you could try that.  Leaving the books in the room with him though was a way my sister encouraged her son in book reading.  If he wants to stay up that badly, there are books for him to look through.  He went from not liking books to liking books. I have a friend whose kids stay up late in their room playing with toys, but she puts them to bed at 8PM and just requires that they are quiet and remain in their room.  She says some nights they're up until 10 or 11, but she doesn't care because they stay in their room and don't bother her quiet time and house cleaning time.  I'm not sure if I agree with her method either.  But everyone has their own thing they figure out that works for them and their children.

Good luck in whatever you try.  Just keep trying various things, but you have to give them a little opportunity to start to work before giving up and trying something else.