bedtime battles

[Mariann]

My 2 and half year old refuses to make bedtime a pleasant experience.  I have tried everything.  She screams and cries every single night, refuses to stay in her room and 1 more story is never enough.  I have tried bedtime routines of quiet time, bath and books.  It doesn't seem to slow her down or soothe her.  She has 1 two hour nap early in the afternoon and we try to make bedtime around 9:00pm.  We have tried locking her door, forcing her to stay in her room and she screams and cries for hours.  I have tried to have her  play quietly in her room and that doesn't work.  She still screams and cries.  I am going crazy.  After 2 and 1/2 years of not having a peaceful evening I am burnt out.  She was in our bed until 10 months old and then we started to transition her to her own bed it's been a nightmare ever since.  Please help me!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Mariann,

Is she actually using a regular bed? Or, when you say bed, do you mean a crib?

If your daughter is in a bed, your task is very difficult, indeed. At her age, she should be in a crib. Children this young, in general, don't have the impulse control to be in a bed.

One way or the other, you have to bite the bullet, so to speak, to solve the problem. In other words, you're going to have to be firm about the limit you set and not defer to your daughter's screaming. It may go on for a long time, but this will stop if you remain firm.

Also, it might be best now to stop the afternoon nap. Ideally, you wouldn't want to do this yet, but it might help solve your situation.

[DENISE]

hi Marianne. I had the same trouble with my son. I am STILL having the same trouble. The only thing that has helped is Melatonin (liquid). It's a natural substance, you barely need any, if givien in juice she won't taste it, and it works within 1/2 hour the first time you use it. it won't knock her out, but will help her to slip into sleep when you do your routine. It is not a sedative; it is in everyone's bodies and is needed for sleep. Some children have a deficiency in this. you can find a parent article on this on my web site. Go to www.geocities.com/denisev2/ and click on the blue colored section entitled "Parents' Papers". It will be listed there. melatonin.

Denise

[Barb]

try giving her and extensive amounth of activities during the day so that at night she will have no choice but to pass out of exhaustion I would too take her nap away as recomeded above.