I am the mother of 5 and a grandmother of 6 ...I am a child care worker and i have just discovered this breakthrough which may explain some of the behaviour you name:
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See the response to Maysma - you are in exactly the same situation.
I have been having behavior problems with my 4 year old daughter. I recently broke down crying hystericaly because i don't know what to do anymore i feel like i have tried everything. Some examples of her behavior are: screaming at me "no" when i tell her to do something, throwing anything in sight, slamming doors, rolling her eyes at me, telling me i am not the boss that she hates me, wetting her pants and laughs about it, being mean to kids younger than her, ALWAYS having something "smart" to say after i tell her something. This is just a few things i can think of off the top of my head. Please help.
Your parenting technique needs some adjusting. See Lynn Clark's book SOS Help for Parents (www.sosprograms.com). You are not setting limits correctly and not disciplining him correctly. The method I am suggesting for you will be effective. You just have to implement it in a consistent manner.