behavior change

My child was once boisterous and loud, and had an endless capacity of energy Always mischievous and never shy. But at age 9 seemed to have become withdrawn and cried for no apparent reason, she would try to hide it, by hiding under the bed or in a closet, but I told her to let it all out. I don't know what caused it. She did very well school, but as she got older her grades declined. She stayed shut in her room; Occasionally she would go out with her friends. After my husband and I divorced and moved away, she became even more withdrawn. I told her the divorce wasn't her fault and that she would still see her father and things would be better this way. I know she witnessed some of our fights and cried when we did fight.(She was 12 when we divorced) I hate to say this, but her father seems to always disappoint her by making promises he doesn't keep. At times she seems like normal teen, laughing and talking, sometimes back-talking, with me, but then she goes back into her shell. As stated before, her grades have declined and has skipped school, staying home instead.
Could my child's early behavior change indicate depression then and now, at her the age of 16 going on 17?

[davo272003]

Hi,

I definately think your daughter is desplaying real signs of depression. Your story almost mirrors my own with my daughter, now 15. The only difference is my daughter lives with me, her father, and her mother is the one that tends to let her down. My daughter did not understand why she was on a rollercoaster of emotions, and when she was down she was very down. Infact she recently started wishing she was dead. I knew there were warning signs of how depressed she was getting, but kept hoping that I would be somehow able to change things on my own. Truth is, no matter how much you love your daughter, you can't help her by yourself. With my daughter I ended up taking her to a youth and depression friendly doctor. After an hour of talking with her she prescribed an anti depressant and I now take her to see a psychologist once a week. Although not out of the woods yet, I am 100% sure this is the right help for my daughter. There is no shame in depression. It is no ones fault. What is important is your daughter receives help for her condition before things become worse. Depression is treatable and often curable. To do nothing would be a disaster. It is possible that your daughter is not suffering from depression, but she has all the signs and is worth doing all you can to help her.

I hope this helps. David

[anxiousmomtobe?]

I have a daughter who will be 16 in May.  So I am somewhat of an expert (that is a joke, I am winging it just like every other parent)

It does sound like your girl may have depression.  What do her teachers say about her?  Does she socialize at all?

I would recommend taking her to a doc.  I would also want to rule out drugs as they are everywhere in the high schools.

Beyond that, what does she love to do?  Does she have a talent or interest?  Maybe you can help her pursue those.

I am sorry your daughter is having a hard time.  I hope and pray you are able to love her through these hard times so she can become the fabulous woman she was born to be.