behavior problem

[romi4]

hi there,
i am mom of 2 kids.my son is 6yrs and daughter is 3yrs old. facing lot of probs with my son. he says no to almost everything. no matter what it is. nothing gives him interest. long back we put him in dance classes but after some days he said he doesnt like it then put him for drawing classes.the result is same.he stopped going there. now we have put him in swiming. after one class only he started yelling and screaming that he doesnt want swiming anymore. its so so annoying. he does like to play with blocks, puzzles or any stuff that needs concentration. getting complains from his teacher that he is extreamly restless. he is extreamly dependent. he doesnt like to do any work on his own. eg. eating, brushing, wearing dress, putting on shoes,taking shower or anything. i have taught him so many times. he says ''í dont want to do anything myself. u do for me''.he takes aroung 2hrs to finish one meal. i have taken out all his toys but he doesnt mind it. only one thing he likes is talking to himself and pretending to play some fighting game.he will make different sounds and keep on playing for hours.if i say him to sit for studies he says no. if i say him for painting or colouring or drawing or doing something creative he says no. he will start making excuses.he is not a bad boy but i dont know how to make him focused. please help.my daughter seems ok so far.she is quite independent though.but with her biggest chalange is food. she is extreamly pickey eater. she weighs only 10kgs age 3yrs. doc says she is fine but extreamly skinny.can anybody suggests me how please her in meal time. i am just stuck with 2 problemetic kids..please any suggestion will do......

[romi4]

i understood that u hv written in response of calcutta....even i hv replied in same way...instead of giving any suggestion sm people can only point out whose failure or fault.....anyways thanks for ur support.....

[margypops]

of course you are not ,I didn't think you were I said that in response to calcuttas remarks ,I am glad to meal times are working, baby steps as they say , it will improve you are doing well .

[romi4]

i have started placing food in front of him and asking him politely to try...at first he wasnt ready but now he tries smtimes. i am so happy atleast he has taken his first step....hoping to get success one day.

i think i am not sending garbage with him...:)

[romi4]

Can u suggest me how to change him in one single day….i wd love to see the miracle…just to tell u that he even doesn’t eat ice-cream, any dessert or any sorts of junk food. He hates even the name of food…..what are the real food u r talking about…..

As for dressing up I don’t hv problem in doing it..my concern is he never tries to do any work on his own….he will always look for smbody to help him….i think by this age he shd be doing few basic works on his own like putting shoes in rack….keeping toys in proper place. etc. he even doesn’t bother to do tht. Anyways I am here to get some good suggestions not to get criticized.  

[margypops]

there is nothing wrong with dressing him that wasnt inferred but at 6 years old if he wants to dress for school he should be able to .,and I am sure you do not send him to school with'garbage' .

[margypops]

I hear you and I still think that if you take that step back you will see a change...so let him bring his food from lunch home , that's okay ..he feeds himself, do not feed him at home .place food in front of him ,he eats it or not.If you are concerned that he isn't functioning well for his age I suggest you speak to the doctor and get his feed back .6 year old is very young..he will improve in most areas ..good luck

[romi4]

i think u r right i shd take bk a step. my husband also tells me smtimes. but the thing is that he is not ready to do his basic works. Always he asks for help. He is so dependent that he doesnt eat his lunch in school as there is nobody to feed him.he comes bk home just like that. It is smthing happening every day. I have made him understand many many times. It is of no use. i have seen few kids of his age. they seem more organised than my son.

[margypops]

You are giving him too many choices in point of fact its your willingness to allow him to bahve like this creating the problem .At 6 years old eating, dressing, brushing,clothes shoes is okay , let him do it.,its not a problem .You are trying too hard to be a good parent, cut him some slack, he will be okay,With the studies tell him he does then first before he plays games, watches TV or anything else homework first then fun ..You are a caring parent take a step back and let him do the ablutions he wants to do seems a good thing to me .good luck