behavioral issues with 5 year old

Hi

I have a 5.5 year old. Since birth, she has been a highly sensitive/emotional baby/child. She had severe tantrums starting at 15 month which subsided somewhat at 28 months of age (these were daily for atleast 1 hour+ often head banging and out of control screaming throwing, etc)  She has been in daycare/preschool most of her life and will be entering kindergarten in the fall 09'  We have a 4 yr old and 2 yr old as well

In school /daycare she has always been an angel. At home, she seems to let it all go, which we understand is normal for children because they feel safe.  We have dealt with (timeouts usually, but at times she gets so out of control you cant even speak to her.. it takes quite a while for her to calm down)

It seems that these subsided for a couple of years (meaning occassional tantrums) but more recently like the last few months, she seems very angry.. saying things like "Everyone hates me" "You want me to die" sometimes I think she is saying this for attention, but at times she really just seems to breakdown and cry/scream for long periods of time (an hour) like she cant control it.  I try to calm her and she will sometimes just scream back "you hate me, Im a bad girl"   or she will yell "only if you give me a hug will I stop"  just really forceful talk to us. its crazy because during these outbursts I have seem her stop on a dime and talk in a normal voice, but then go back to the screaming?!

We are full time working parents, that said our house is stressful and we are really all home only a few hours a day, but in no way talk to her like this, we always use positive reinforcement w our children and  are a normal happy family.(not without the occasional arguement)  I just dont know if this is normal? i know kids pick things up from other children at school. They watch only the PBS and Sprout shows (2 hr a day max) and we dont have adult shows on ..

Suggestions?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

She is not picking this up at school. Rather, her disorganized, unsettled behavior likely is associated with the stressful family situation you describe, and the fact that she does well at school underscores this probability. While it might be true that, to a certain extent, it is more 'safe' for her at home re: displays of behavior, this does not really explain the behavior itself. Evaluate how you are balancing the parenting/work situation, with a view to whether you might be shortchanging your children in the parent/child domain.